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The original world nomad "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." - Confucius.

The shirtless man & the huge breasted woman

GREECE | Monday, 8 October 2007 | Views [4949]

If you can, try to imagine a caricature of a barrel chested Yorkshire farmer with a vast beer gut drooping over his pants together with his wife who had removed her shirt to reveal impossibly large breasts sagging down to her navel despite the best endeavours of her lurid vermillion brassiere as they wander in the midday sun around a 4,000 year old Greek temple at Lindos along with hordes of pink topless sunburnt Poms. What do they think they are doing?

Rhodes is European package holiday hell at its very worst, a dusty ruin of a town invaded by cheap souveneir shops and obese Germans drinking vast jugs of beer from 10 am.

Have you seen supposedly stereotypical British package tourist in the movie 'Shirley Valentine'? This is worse. Much much worse, and it's only the low season. To imagine July or August beggars belief.

We can't escape fast enough.

Trying to make the best of our incarceration here, we explored the walls of the old fortress, which is littered with ancient signs of war in the form of round granite balls about 400mm across, remains from slingshots used to besiege the city over 1,000 years ago. There were so many, some embedded high up in the fortress walls that they raised some interested questions.

Why are the ancient stone slingshot balls round? Wouldn't it have been so much easier to lob a large square block at the fortress wall than some nice neatly carved spherical stone that must have taken ages to carve?

How did they make them? We are talking about 1000 years ago and making a large stone sphere out of granite can't have been the easiest of tasks and to make them in any quantity even harder.

And finally, what made Rhodes so important that it was worth defending with all those lives and effort? Strategically it can't have been an easy island to defend as it was on the coast of your enemies lands and miles from your supply chain. So why did they bother?

Anyone?

Rhodes really didn't get any better even when we tried to leave. Apart from our hotel giving me food poisoning (which is actually pretty hard given where I have travelled to over the years) and then mysteriously doubling the cost from per night to per room when we came to check out, today was the closest I have ever come to missing a flight and we must have made the gate with only a minute to spare.

When we came to get to the airport it turns out they had closed all the old town for the Rhodes triathlon so there weren't any taxi's to be found and nobody could tell us where the traffic restrictions ended. It really isn't that pleasant to hump 20Kg packs around in the hot sun while pushing children's strollers desperately in search of a taxi knowing you are about to miss the only flight to Crete for the next three days. When we did eventually hijack a cab and make it to the airport of was full of thousands of European package tourists all heading home: no time for niceties!

Shouldering aside everyone to get to the check-in and then wielding strollers and the kids and pushing aside muttering Germans, we stormed up to the security ... only to realise we'd forgotten the passports back down at check-in. That was a 90 second dash if ever there was, heaving aside more muttering Germans both down and back up, through security and made it to the gate as they were boarding.

Now, we aren't talking about a plane that seats 300, our island-hopper seated precisely 19 so the last four aboard in the final 2 minutes was quite a feat. We have taken light planes before but not over open ocean so we regarded the plane with some trepidation although, despite the din, we arrived in Hania on Crete safely enough.

Hania quickly restored some of our faith in Greece: simple and quiet.

Sigh.

Tags: crude, escape, huge breasts, incarceration, misadventures

 

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