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The original world nomad "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." - Confucius.

21 Economic Models Explained With Cows

AUSTRALIA | Monday, 6 October 2008 | Views [39196] | Comments [12]

I have seen the first few of these several times before, but never seen anyone take it so far. Re-posted for your enjoyment: 

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows

The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows

You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows

You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are

You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows

You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows

None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows

You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows

You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows

Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows

You tell them that you have not one. No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows

Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows

The one on the left looks very attractive…

Tags: cows, economics, humour

Comments

1

Certainly made me laugh!

  mel_mel Oct 7, 2008 5:25 AM

2

Very funny. They forgot A Korean Corporation -

You have two cows. You have a thousand people working on them to genetically clone each other, where they appear to look like the most beautiful cows in the world. Once this is completed, the staff go out and drink massive amounts of 'soju' until they pass out on the street. :)

  miss_traveller Oct 25, 2008 7:06 PM

3

CUTE - Very clever!
All this talk of cows made me want to go back to the state fair & look at their beautiful brown eyes!

  ann Nov 14, 2008 6:32 AM

4

A Swedish Corporation: You have two cows, and the government pays you not to milk them.

A Greek Corporation: You have two cows and sell them to a tourist for "very special price for you my friend - two for one!"

A Polish Corporation: You have two cows and they both move to the UK on their new EU passports.

  Emilia Jan 22, 2009 8:39 AM

5

funny indeed

  nnmsat Feb 22, 2009 4:34 PM

6

Awesome! Reminds me of my favorite all time New York Times headline: "Radical Hindu group offers sanctuary to British cows."

  jsherdc Oct 3, 2010 11:02 PM

7

Romanian model (my own version): You have two cows. You send one to steal in Italy and one to beg for money in Spain. After one year, you get "almost new" Nike shoes from Italy and with the money from Spain you build a new house, but you keep on living in the old one anyway.

  psykhe Nov 4, 2010 1:24 AM

8

Simpsonism: don't have a cow man

  Emma Jul 18, 2012 10:26 PM

9

Juche (north Korea):
You have 2 cows. Scratch that. Kim Jong-Un has 2 cows. Anyone who says otherwise will be shot, and their family sent to forced labor.

  Sweet Tea Mar 20, 2014 11:08 AM

10

On Mars.
You have two Cows..
They are green


California
You have to cows.
They are eating grass in Silicon Valley. One is 64-bit and runs Linux

  Chris May 23, 2014 10:43 PM

11

Mongolian version: You have 2 cows.
You don't know how to milk them, so you invite foreign investors to milk them for you. Politicians start arguing how to divide the milk even before they are milked, then kick out the investors because, "Mongolian cows won't run away and Mongolia has the best cows." By this time the cows are getting old and still no milk has been produced yet.

  TB Nov 27, 2014 11:16 PM

12

In Canada, you have two cows, you slaughter both
and give to feed the homeless, and feel good
about yourself...you could be homeless later... who knows!

  Dean Jul 14, 2015 4:23 AM

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