Bangkok

sajalahsan — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 05:11:00 GMT

On the last day of April, I packed my bag and left home. There was nothing for me except frustrating work and complex relationships in past few years, and leaving home was my only way to gain what I lost, only way to be free from this captivity. There is no place like the road, where I can be free doing everything; or I can be busy doing nothing. It’s been long since I was on such a journey, so long that all past memories became blurry, like they happened in another life to another person and I read those stories in my childhood.

I was going to Bangkok, my favourite place to spend days after days being inactive but never getting bored. Bangkok embraces travellers as much as its dwellers, and I am fascinated by its magical power to connect everybody; disregarding race, nation, age or other diversity. Here I can truly be myself or I can truly be someone else.

Through the window of my plane, with the first light of the day on the horizon and infinite starts above, Bangkok appeared like a long lost treasure, waiting to be explored rather than being discovered.

But truly, what should I explore? Should I search for the soul of the city? Should I look for the beauty? Or should I try to understand its spirituality?

A city has no soul if the people living in it feel no love for the city, only using it for their own benefits. Bangkok is not like that. People here not just love but worship the city. Maybe that is why they can embrace travellers as their own; they both hold same love for the city in their heart.

Bangkok has not changed much since I was here last time except for it is now cleaner and more organized. For some parts, it reminds me of Tokyo. Tall skyscrapers coupled with straight, narrow roads through concrete pavement and sharp stairs with dry leaves lying on them. It looks beautiful from little distance, like a perfect frame capturing large buildings, blue sky and busy roads full of cars and motorcycles, all in a flawless harmony.

Bangkok doesn't preserve history. There are not many old buildings, monuments, statues, palaces or any other token that remind me of its past, and whenever there is a requirement, the buildings and roads are repaired with modern construction. But yet I would not call it a modern city. Rather it is something in between which makes it even more desirable, more lively. I can almost feel its sharp, long breath in the endeavor to unite chaotic western lifestyle with silent Asian philosophy, coming out of its past to make new history.

Bangkok has her own way to reveal her beauty to all, but only for those who seek. I did not fall in love of Bangkok at first sight. She disclosed herself to me slowly, delicately, with extra care and precaution because she already knew that I was going to fall in love with her. I think many travellers feel the same way. Maybe the people of Bangkok even feel the same way. Like any true relationship, this undertaking of falling in love, developing a deep connection and affection for the city brings melancholy, the type of melancholy that can only be caused by unexplained beauty and desire.

So when the time comes for me to leave Bangkok, I feel depressed, like an addict, not because I am leaving her but because I know melancholy will take over and rule my heart until I am back again.

How to Love a Stranger

sajalahsan — Sat, 16 May 2015 07:00:58 GMT

“Why do you look so sad?”

I heard the melting voice and turned my left to see her. She was standing near me. Her dark, deep and lovely eyes were waiting with intense curiosity.

She tilted her head little and asked me again “why are you so sad?”

I was sad, but was it so obvious?

“And why are you not dancing?” she asked me another question.

How could I answer her? I was so tired from my restless, sleepless days on the road. I had crossed the sea and reached this beautiful island just to spend this night, the night which was suppose to give me one of the best experiences of my life, only to discover that it was nothing like I had imagined.

It was past midnight and I had a few drinks. My eyes were heavy. My legs were tired. I was hungry. The music was loud and thousands of people were dancing around me. Yet I found myself alienated and lonely, but cherishing these hours of solitude in the crowed. How could I dance?

My friends were dancing and I was just standing nearby with my hands folded on my chest.

That is how she found me.

She hold my hands with both of her hands and started to dance. She moved closer to me. She was smiling, yet I could see the sadness foaming into her eyes. She touched my face with her hand and said to me, “You should smile.”

She could love a complete stranger, become a companion of a never ending journey. She could learn the secrets of heart with one touch, and that knowledge would become a fragment of her heart. Her affection seeks not only the laughter, but the tears as well. May be she learnt that on the road, from months of travelling alone. But I like to think that she was like this forever, long before she left home.

I wanted to be with her, but I could not. I had to leave before the sun rises. I have traveled thousands of miles and still have hundreds to go. But I did not return as the same man as I was at the beginning of the night.

As my boat speeded through the calm waves and the cold wind of the Gulf of Thailand, sadness overcame my heart. I don’t remember the last words she told me, nor the words I told her as I left her. How would you depart from someone so beautiful and loveable without suffering? My mind was filled with her memories, knowing that she will not be forgotten among countless fading memories.

Now I know how to love a stranger.

Never Ending Journey

Bangkok

How to Love a Stranger