Go Bush

The Warm Up

nik_and_leon — Thu, 7 Jan 2010 21:53:00 GMT

We have just done the warm up. 4 days of hard trekking to get us fit and acclimatised for the big bastard, Everest Base Camp. Here's some stats of what we did.

PLACE: Gosaikund - Hindu holy lakes in the Langtang Nat Park north of Kathmandu.

EQUIPMENT: 1 x Booce, 1 x Tony, 1 x Nunu, and a very competitive man

AUXILLIARY STAFF: 1 x packet of antibiotics, 8 x trekking poles, 50 x chlorine tablets, Not enough sleeping bag power

Day 1: Dunche to Sing Gompa - 1950m to 3250m - the only word to describe this is punishment! This is Barney and a bit AT ALTITUDE. The last 300m was bloody tough, especially after the teahouse we thought we could stay at (3000m) was closed for the winter.

This was the day that the Super Plod Mode was introduced into our trekking. Plod Mode was all that was needed for hikes in the UK and Oz, but this is different. Fujisaw the Super Plod Mode but it was never coined. EBC may even see the more elusive Super-Duper Plod Mode (note: Dave never needs to go past Plod Mode, even at altitude).

Sleeping at 3250m didn;t present too many problems, it was just if we need to walk from one end of the spacious teahouse to the other we got a bit puffed.

We shared the teahouse with some crazy and very fit Swedish people, one of whom was planning on climbing Cho Oyo in the next 5 years. I did say crazy didn't I?

Day 2: Sing Gompa to Laurebina (3900m). The phrase to desribe this day is 'off to a bad start'. Booce and one of the Swedes woke up sick as dogs. Spewing and the rest. We have no idea what it was, maybe some contaminated water? Dunno. Whatever it was it was the start of something special. A he-man effort from a very tough man.

We had to climb another 650m at altitude. this would be the highest any of the Wards, Allendens or Holloways had been before. This is where headaches and lethargy sink in. Top this off with not eating and losing vital electrolites and you can buy me a ticket to Couch-ville. Not Bruce though, he climbed this in a pretty good time, keeping up with the younger, fitter (maybe not!?) and above all not sick kiddies.

At about 3500m today we went past a place called Chalangpati, home of the endangered Red Panda. Tony believes that it's endangerd because the locals conduct seasonal milking of it to make Panda-Cheese. Mmmmmmmm Panda-Cheese.

At about 3700m we came out above the tree line and started to get some pretty spectatular views of the Himmies. Annapurna, Manaslu, Ganesh Himal, Langtang Lirung.

Sleeping at 3900m the altitude was obvious. The heart was beating QUICKLY. Movement brough about a case of the puffs. Good stuff. Plus it was sooooooooooo cold. we reckon about -10 outside, and it was below zero in the teahouse. I spilt some water on the table and it froze in a few minutes.

Boring bit (got this idea form Sir Chris Bonington): List of Clothing used by me - 2 x thermal pants, 1 x fleece pants, 1 x thick hiking socks, 1 x fleece socks, 2 x thermal tops, 1 x high loft fleece jacket, 1 x mummy jacket, 1 x beanie, 1 x pair of gloves.

Day 3: Laurebina to Gosaikund (4315m) and back to Sing Gompa. This was the real day for getting as high as we could before turning around the way we came. Bruce again woke up pretty damn sick, and he hadn't eaten the previous day. We suggested that he stay at Laurebina while we quickly went up, but he wanted to go high as well. Eventually after a he-man effort he had to stop at the 4000m mark and went back. We though he would stop at 3900m, but he went all the way down and we didn;t see him until he was in bed at 3250m.

Steep terain, a stupa and a and ever-expanding view was abov 4000m. Some snow was left over from aprevious fall, but the true snowline was still 1000m above us.

We got to a view of the holy lake and said stuff it, lets go back. We were all dizzy, had slight headaches and just basically couldn't be stuffed anymore.

We got over 4300m, but EBC is still 1200m higher. DAMN!!! The cold is unthinkable. We are hiring / buying 4 season sleeping bags, coz the Moonrakers just won't do.

1050m descent to Sing Gompa - knee shattering

Day 4: Sing Gompa to Dunche. Another big descent - 1300m! Knees and calves and hammies done for. Thank crap for a few days off!

All up we climbed about 2 and a half Baz's. And that's just the warm up.

More Jordan

nik_and_leon — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:53:00 GMT

I never got to finish about Jordan.

WADI RUM: i mentioned quickly the other day about this place. A camping, 4wd'ing, mincing around heaven.

It is all at the same time canyon country, rock wall country, desert country, bedouin country and camel country. It also has very similar features to Fraser Island (well the sand and dunes anyway).

We jumped in a Landcruiser at the start of the valley, and after our crazy Bedouin driver raced a freight train to its crossing (we won by the way...just) we were into the heart of the Wadi.

It is not a massive place, you can drive from end to end in about an hour, but the features make it seem much more immense.

We spent time running up dunes, watching locals try to surf the dunes in their Jeeps (unsuccessfully), climbing rock features that are reminiscent of Hole in the Wall on Mt Castle (is that Mt Walker?), and speeding through the desert in the Cruiser.

Just before sunset we got to the camp, an isolated set of tents underneath a huge rock wall and tucked in behind another protective rock outcrop. The sandstorms they get here can last 3 days and you can only see 1m in front of you - the more protection the better!

The main Bedouin tent was a huge goat hair number that housed a luxurious interiour akin to a Turkish bar. Red-patterned carpets on the floor surrounded a fireplace where the Bedouin tent-master cooked chicken and Pita bread with thyme and olive oil. Around the outside of the interior were VERY comfortable backrests surrounding the entire tent, again adorned with that characteristic red patterned carpet. Lying back on these while the guide talked about Jordanian customs, I almost lost the battle to stay awake. The talk of Shisha soon got me back up and rearing to go.

Red wine, baklava, more shisha and talk rounded off a very enjoyable evening.

Living the Dream! Could have been a touch warmer though! Got below zero at night, it inspired me to buy another jacket for Everest Base Camp.

THE DEAD SEA: The itinerary mentioned that no trip to Jordan was complete without the experience of floating on the Dead Sea's extremely bouyant waters. 33% salt they are. Think about dilutuing that much salt in a glass why don't ya? And it's getting more salty over time as the sea loses 1m of depth every year! Thanks agriculture and dams. This is even speeding up the decay of Petra some 30kms away.

I had no idea about how floating in it would feel, but geez, it is really freaky at first. you can stand bolt upright in the water (well not as bolt upright as Glen McGrath), feet not touching, and have your shoulders sticking out of the water! Which is a good thing. Apparently people die there each year by diving under, and the extreme pressure forces VERY salty water into every orifice. Good fun.

We also got caked in Dead Sea mud (some cool photos to come) and it did feel like our skin was 5 years younger after we washed it off. No ad necessary.

After these fun and games we had a 5-star buffet with No shit the BEST dessert selecting I have ever seen. No point describing them, the best method is to tell you I had 2 very full plates of dessert after alrteady having 2 very full plates of mains. Nunu wasn't far behind.

Did I mention that we loved Jordan!

Jordan - The Surprising Country

nik_and_leon — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:16:00 GMT

We have never been so surprised with a country as Jordan. I guess maybe because it is never really top of mind and manages to stay out of most Middle-Eastern shenanigans.

Jordanians call themselves the Switzerland of the Middle East. They are geographically right in the middle of the Middle and they are as neutral as you get in this region.

As such Jordan is a country of medium to high levels of prosperity, bringing medium to high prices with it.

It is clean, well stocked, well touristed (at least now that Iraq has settled down a bit), and the food is exceptional. About the only thing that met our ignorant expectation was that you couldn;t drink the tap water (even in Egypt you can, just not for extended periods).

I'll talk a bit about the food, because well, I like food.

Jordanian dishes circle a lot around chicken and lamb. The main dish, which is served up in HUUUUUGE quantities (especially at Bedouin weddings which typically have 3,000 people in attendance) is called Mansuf. Mansuf is fried and spiced lamb served with spiced rice in HUUUGE quantities, with salted yoghout poured over the top.

The salted yoghourt is an interesting one. It is made by the Bedouins in the deserts such as Wadi Rum (best place ever - I'll show you my photos when I get time - it would not be out of place in central Australia, much like a cross between the Flinders Ranges, Kata Tjuta and the Twelve Apostles with towering sandstone pillars reaching up to 900m above a myriad of conjoined red-sanded valleys - Wadi means valley).

Back to the yoghout. It is made from goat's milk and drtied in the sun with a shit load of salt. They can keep it up to 2 years and besides Mansuf they also eat it with tea. That is a salt explosion!

Other dishes are very typically Arabic, with plenty of Babaganoush, Hommous, Tabooleh, pita, Baklava, Halva etc. Just the quality in Jordan is a step above (apparently the Lebanese do it even better).

What about the sights?

PETRA: Indiana Jones was right to have a fight there. Do you remember the big facade of the city in the cliff at the end of the Last Crusade? That is the Treasury of Petra. I always thought this was the only thing t Petra. But no, Petra is an ancient city that spans hundreds of square kms. To see the main highlights we spend the best part of a day walking around the city.

The Treasury is the first main sight you come across after walking through the 2km long Siq (A claustrauphobic canyon with towering walls up to 200m high - again the photos with speak a lot about it).

After this we need to walk out into a much more open valley, again completely arid, and here we could see thousands of tombs as well as Roman temples (where did the Romans not get to?).

Felucca Down the Nile

nik_and_leon — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:58:00 GMT

The best part of Egypt. Perhaps this would be more difficult to answer in summer, but in winter it is definitely the felucca trip down the nile.

I say in winter because of these stats.

In summer, 20 out of 25 participants WILL get the runs (and occasionally get it at the other end too).

In winter, only 1 person will get them. On our trip, the score was nil all.

A felucca is an Egyptian sailboat. Ours was purpose built by On the Go, our tour operator, for up to 10 people. Think of a catamaran that has a huge deck built between the 2 hulls which is covered with a huge carpet, and above a huge fabric sunshade.

The idea is to float / sail down the Nile for 2 nights, stopping occasionally for a toilet break. Given beers cost only $2 these breaks were needed more often than thought. At least for the ladies. We gents figured out soon enough that you could do your business off the back of the boat, providing a 5 star cruiser wasn't passing at the same time.

So, for 2 days we basically had Girraween on a boat. Sitting around, lying around, occassionally getting up for a beer. Getting served our delicious pita bread with feta, olives, chicken, tomatoes, yoghout, honey etc.

The first night we docked next to a Nubian village (we were well and truly close to ancient Nubia, Aswan is in the far south of Egypt, as is the immense Aswan High Dam and the world's largest man-made lake Lake Nasser - named after the first Egyptian president).

We had Nubian tea, a milky number with cinnamon and sugar, as well as the world's cheapest Shisha. From memory we had apple flavour (along our Egyptian travels we have had cherry, apple, strawberry, melon just to name a few). Sherif we believe had something a little stronger as he went from his usually loud and crazy self to a more mellow Sherif. Nubians get into the greenery!

Following another relaxing day of beer, sitting around etc, we stopped again the following night on a Nile island. It was like parking the felucca on the edge of Lake Wabby on Fraser Island, all sand, quite nice water, but a little less steep.

The Nubians again entertained us with some wicked drumming and singing. We were of course obliged to join in (not for the first time both Nunu and I were to participate in local music!).

AIIIIIIII-WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (yes in Arabic)

The Felucca terminated at Kom Ombo temple where we caught up with some of the 'soft' members of our tour who had opted for the 5 Star cruiser (beers incidently were $7 on that boat!).

Stethoscopes in Ancient Times?

nik_and_leon — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:51:00 GMT

Loud and Proud Americans. A generalisation that goes many miles, as already seen in Istanbul (The Jube on the Bus).

We are at Edfu Temple between Aswan and Luxor, a double temple built in the Greco-Roman dynasty around the birth of Christ. One wing is devoted to Horus, the Falcon-headed god of the sky (and the patron god) and the other to Sobek, the Nile Crocodile God. This place is huge, but above all ancient.

Our tour guide Sherif explains all of the heiroglyphs, statues, calendars and even a Nile-ometer that was used for taxes.

One particular heiroglyph depicts an ancient Egyptian medic administering herbal medicine to a king.
"Make sure you get a photo of that" says Sherif, "it is one of the few incriptions showing medical treatment in Ancient Egypt".

"WHERE'S THE STETH-O-SCOPE?!"

A big American woman sidles up to the same wall.

"HE TOLD US THERE WAS A STETH-O-SCOPE. I CANNOT SEE A STETH-O-SCOPE"

Eveyone in our tourgroup looks at one another. A stethoscope in ancient times? Come the fuck on. Sherif, is this true? Hahaha, no.

The big American woman sidles away, dissapointed and no more educated than when she turned up.

We take a fgew more photos and chat to Sherif.

From a distance...

"I COULD NOT FIND THE STETH-O-SCOPE"

For godsakes, shut the fuck up!

More Animal Action

nik_and_leon — Tue, 8 Dec 2009 00:26:00 GMT

Some more animal tidbits for your enjoyment.

A story for Peter Beattie – don’t feed the dingoes. In Kruger Park South Africa in the 90’s some of the park rangers, that’s right the RANGERS, decided that they would get better tip[s from customers if they saw the big 5 in a day.

The leopard is the tricky one. They are numerous but almost impossible to spot. A saying goes|:

‘You don’t choose to see a leopard, it chooses you” (we saw 4 in 2 months and 5 game parks).

The rangers figured out a particular leopard was hanging around close to a camp inside the park, so they started feeding it to guarantee viewings. You can see where this is going to go wrong. BIG cat, expectations…

A jeep full of private tourists came one day and the leopard was hungry. Theswe tourist didn’t have any food. The leopard got angry and lept INTO the jeep (it didn’t have a roof).

Tourists skitz out.

Leopard gets stressed.

LKeoprad jumps from tourist o tourist, ripping their guts open.

6 dead.

Innocent people.

Laws regarding roofs on jeeps changed.

The Migthty Zambezi

nik_and_leon — Tue, 8 Dec 2009 00:04:00 GMT

Rafting the mighty Zambezi is one of those once in a lifetime experiences. We didn’t even think we would do it. We didn’t go to Africa to whitewater raft or to do ridiculous Kiwi adrenaline things. We went to see wild animals and wild landscapes.

But, a Scottish woman named Collette got us pumped up for it.

“you have to do the Zambezi, it’s just one of those things. Rafters the world around come here, it is big’.

Well, big it is. The highest graded rapid you can commercially do is a grade 5.

A grade 5 if you haven’t done rafting before is the equivalent of a 3m dumper sucking the sand off Sunshine Beach. A grade 5 can suck a raft under. It can hold you down for 10 seconds. Go on, count to 10, it’s a long time.

The Zambezi has 5 grade 5’s and the rest are 3’s and 4’s. It’s the highest concentration of goodness in the world.

These are serious rapids. They only run boats down 9 months a year. The other 3 months are high water, when the water can be 14m higher than when we went. One year a kayaker braved high water. In one section of whirlpools he was sucked under violently, and 9 minutes later they pulled his lifeless body out of the river.

6 to our boat.

Leon, Nunu, Rob, Kelly, Lauren and Andy. Plus our guide.

Another 4 boats from other people on our trip.

A flotilla heading down the river.

The other boats were less serious (competitive?) than ours, and as such they ate shit at a far greater level of consistency.

The first grade 4 we hit one boat got creamed and had 6 long swimmers hoping the crocs weren’t hanging around the rapids today.

We survived a couple of grade 5’s before we got to rapid 8 – Midnight Diner.

Our guide byu this stage wanted to show us the mighty Zambezi. He gave \us a choice here, to the right a grade 4, or through the middle a grade 5. He decided for us. And them some.

To the right of the right, the grade 5 actually became a 5 plus. This is where he took us.

Over one small wave

“HARD FORWARDS’

Over another wave

“GET DOWN”

We couldn’t see what was coming, it was hidden by another small wave. Over that one and then we saw the ginning jaws of death.

The boat fell into the yawning gap that came before the wall of white water. This was not just a steep wave with a crest on top. This was a wall of whitewater 3 meters high. It just sucked the boat under. Bodies fell everywhere, helmets crashing into paddles and other helmets.

Nik popped up first next to the boat. 3 seconds she as under, not too bad but scary the hell enough.

I popped up 4 seconds later and about 50m further down the river. My first instinct was to make sure Nunu was up, and then to count the rest. We had all made it. I started laughing uncontrollably, FUCK YEAH,. What a rush!! And another 2 grades 5’s to come!

Guns in the night

nik_and_leon — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 01:12:00 GMT

We arrived in the Masai Mara after 2 weeks of solid camping so were glad to be given accomodation in the permanent tents. We were also told that this camp was run by African Travel Company, the company that was driving us around the continent, and as such it was a safe camp, guarded by Masai warriors. That in itself made it feel safe, as in the middle of the night you would pass their dark, tall shadow on your way to the toilet.

As it happened, that was were we went at about 12.30 in the morning of our second night in the camp. Having been successful, we got back to out tent and dazed back into sleep.

RAT TAT TAT TAT...what was that. Masai scaring off animals with a gun, must have been. Back to sleep.

Morning, arrrrrrrrrhhh, streeeeeeeeetch.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

That wasn't Masai.

Just after Nunu and I got back to our tent, a group of Swahili bandits entered the camp and went spastic.

Wer can only guess their aim was to keep the camp quiet while they went from tent to tent slashing and grabbing gear.

The first tent thwey hit was empty.

The seond had a South African couple. He stood up and got a machete help to his throat. Heavy stuff.

The third, an Aussie girl and her Auntie were staying in.

First rule of Africa, give them everything!!! Your life is worth more.

Noone told the girl and she resisted, holding her bag and screaming. One of the bandits went...

RAT TAT TAT TAT. 4 automatic shots into the air.

The commotion caused them to do a runner, but was enough to share the shit outof everyone.

cops came, Masai were embarrassed, tourists were scared.

Nunu and I slept.

Animal Action!

nik_and_leon — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:01:00 GMT

FUCK YEAH!!! Excuse the French you faint-hearted souls.

Ngorongoro Crater and the Serengeti that is!

FUCK, what a place.

Ngorongoro - a big extinct volcanic crater in the middle of Tanzania, the crater collapsed 6 million or so years ago. Before it did it was bigger than Kibo (which we didn't get to see due to Fuji-esque cloud - bugger).

A few facts - it is an micro world all unto its own. On the windward side of the crater floor there are rainforests which give way within a few hundred meters to fresh water lakes surrounded by thorn bush forests. Another couple of hundred meters leeward, the swamps begin which soon merge into salt lakes. the far leeward side of the crater is an arid and dusty plain stretching for the remaining few kilometers. All this in a crater only 15km across!

the animals there and in the Serengeti are suburb!a list of what we saw:

The big 5 (lions - Simba in Swahili, elephants, leopards -one hauling a Gazelle up a tree, buffalo and a black rhino - severely endangered)

White Rhino

Cheetahs

Giraffes

Cerval Cats

Truck loads of antelope - Gazelles, Redbuck, Impala, and the big bastard I can't recall the name of at the mo.

Flamingos

Hippos

Wilderbeast

Mongoose

Zebra

Warthogs (Not Pumba, that's just a name)

Birds of prey, birds of colour and birds of lunch eating capability

Most of these were bloody close to us so we got some cracking photos.

Kenyan and Ugandan Odysee

nik_and_leon — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:14:00 GMT

Right, going back in time now, but well worth the effort, is a few little collected stories about our time in Kenya and Uganda.

These 2 countries we visited on the first leg of our big African tour, before Tanzania and the Serengeti.

We started off in Nairobi, an armada of 6 Afican Travel Company trucks heading off into the wilderness from their near-fortress of a hotel.

Security is the biggest industry in Nairobi (well, I wouldnt have a clue to be honest, but it looks like it)'. Nairobi is known locally, and perhaps with a bit of tongue in cheek, as Nairobbery. But we got around no problem. In fact I hits the streets on the first morning by myself armed with my big, obvious camera backpack, and all went well. got hassled a bit by fake charity workers and fake asylem seekers wanting cash, but I've been to Thailand so knew how to tell them to get fucked.

2 of the trucks headed west towards Uganda, one of them spending a few days in the Masai Mara first, and ours heading direct.

3 days of hard driving it was. Good time to spend meeting the 15 other travellers on board plus the cook Martin, the driver Steve (not Dave but with a stamina almost as solid), and the guide Susan. All 3 of them locals.

The first night out was in Kisumu on Lake Victoria, an eye opening intro to the sometimes uncomfortble camping. A designated shit-hole in the East African campign circuit, Kisumu was wet, had a shit house bar that was literally behind bars (cue security guard), and a pack of wild dogs that were filled with rabies (again, I am probably making that up).

Up at 4am to drive over the Kenyan/Ugandan border into Kampala the capital. Not much to report here, except we passed over the source of the Nile on the way in.

This was where Idi Amin threw his citizens' bodies into the river for them to float downstream. nice fella Idi.

Up early again the next day and abother long drive to Lake Bunyoni where we based ourselves for 3 nights.

It was from this beautiful, high, cool mountain lake that small teams trekked off to go find the Mountain Gorillas.

I tell you what fatman, this was some of the best $1200 we have ever spent.

Nik and I got lucky, we trekked for 45 minutes and ran into a family of 12 gorillas, including 2 of the intensely large Silverbacks.

We could only spend an hour with the gorillas, and this is the only human contact they have each day. but, WHAT AN EXPERIENCE.

A young blackback called Obia got extra friendly and decided he wanted to punch me, not goopd from a 200kg beast! I had the big lens honed in on him, and the patch of black through the viewfinder just got bigger and bigger! I shat my pants, went into 'play dead wuss' mode, while the guide jumped in front to subvert the danger. Got out of that one, I thought he would have killed me (apparently not says the guide).

Some other facts:

baby gorillas die in the cold of the mountains if their paremnts aren;t careful

gorilla poo is large!

gorillas farts are long!

Our giude had to carry an AK47 (maybe some overkill on the choice of rifle), in case we came across lone male gorillas who are a bit phsycho

Gorillas live to 50 years

Sigourney Weaver was right to make a movie - damn it was awesome! we got to within 2 meters of one who looked remarkably like Homer Simpson.

Following our successful trek, I bought a t-short to prove it, and then we drove all the way back to Kenya where the game drives started.

I have a great story about the Masai Mara for ya, but you'll haveta wait.

Did you know? Turkey

nik_and_leon — Tue, 6 Oct 2009 15:54:00 GMT

A coupla key facts about this place (what a place too!!).

Istanbul has 15 Million people - that's almost twice the size of London!

Turkey's national hero, Ataturk, was instrumental in beating the Allies in Gallipoli when he and his battalion held the ANZACS at bay on the first day before reinforcements arrived. After the war, he then went on to overthrow the Ottomans and revolutionise Turkey, leading it towards the more modern Turkey that it is today. John Howard, what have you done lately?

There was only 106 Turks defending the hill on that first day!! (their main forces had gone north thinking that is where the landing would be)

And they only had single shot rifles!! They shot, they crapped their pants and then they ran for backup(in the form of Ataturk).

Ataturk incidentally was the name given to him after the war, and it literally means 'father of Turks'. He had no kids, and it is now against illegal in Turkey for anyone to be called Ataturk (not sure about Jesus though??).

John Howard was the name given to John Howard after his mother got frightened at his birth. It literally means 'anus faced'.

The ANZAC and Turkish trenches at Lone Pine were only 8 meters apart! This was engineered by the Turks so that they could not be bombed from the battleships.

What else....

Ah yeah, you forget how huge this place is - a 6 hour bus ride from Istanbul to Canakkele!

Time for tea...

Leather jacket with your coffee, sir?

nik_and_leon — Sun, 4 Oct 2009 04:32:00 GMT

Well, this time the jube is me!!

Thought İ`d try a bit of haggling in the Kapali Carsi - the Grand Bazaar of İstanbul - only to find out that İ suck and Nunu is much better.

İ thought İ whispered to Nunu that the leather jackets looked nice, but SWOOP! The Tout came!

"Guten Tag"....(apparently Nunu looks German!)....

"hello, you want leather jacket?"

"they do look good" - stuffed it already.

We got dragged into his store and İ tried on lots of jackets, none to my Topshop-honed tastes (big cheers to Phillip).

"I have other store, you come"

We went.

"see this tag (sewn in D&G), very good, try on".

İ do - it ıs the greatest jacket İ have ever worn (sorry Gore-Tex)

"What you pay for this?"

"No idea"

"Don`t be Chinese, you speak and tell me, what price?"

"no idea mate"

"You lıke ıt?"

"Yes"

"then what prıce"

"I don`t know, I don`t even need a jacket"

REPEAT ABOVE TWICE

"What you mean you don`t need a jacket? You come to my store and try on my jacket and you don`t even want jacket?"

"Yeah, I guess, I thought İ mıght like one"

"You lıke thıs one?"

"Yes"

"then what prıce"

"Nah, I don`t need it, İ`m traveling"

"So you do come my store and try on my jacket and you don`t even want jacket? You waste my time. I have other customers, and you waste my time, you don`t even need jacket"

Time to go EXIT STAGE LEFT

Nunu bargained herself an awesome scarf. Lesson 1 complete.

The jube on the bus

nik_and_leon — Thu, 1 Oct 2009 19:24:00 GMT

Hahaha, first jube sighting of the trip.

On the bus into Istanbul from the lovely Easyjet airport ın the dıddlies, we got stuck next to a woman wıth a voıce so shouty, Tony comparably ıs a meek lıttle boy on downers (don`t you just wish Suze!).

Turkish Driver: ...you be from Mexıco..Spain?

Amerıcan Woman: NO I AM AN AMERICAAAAAAN, AND I LIVE IN ENGLAND NAAOWWWW.

Turkish Drıver: Your face looks like...some spanish............argentinian??

Amerıcan Woman: NAAOOOOOOOOO

Turkısh Drıver: ............................

Amerıcan Woman: I AM FROM CHICAAAAGO, AND I LIVE IN ENGLAND NAAOWWWW. MY GIRLS ARE MEETING ME IN TURKEY BUT WE DON`T KNOW WHAT WE WANT TO DO YET. THEY INVITED ME HERE FOR A VAAACATION SO I CAAAME. MAYBE WE WILL GO ON A BOS.POUR.RUS TOUR OR MAYBE SEE THE BIG MOSQUE. I AM NOT A MUSLIM I`M JEEWWISH, BUT THE MOSQUE STILLS SOUNDS OH KAY.

Turkish Driver: you sure you not Mexıcan?

Amerıcan Woman: I AM FROM CHICAAAAGO, AND I LIVE IN ENGLAND NAAOWWWW. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO MEXICO.

Turkish Driver: But your face, dark like mine.

Hahahaha. JUBE.