Coming to terms with self and the world

The first time I went to a gay club was in Atlanta, Georgia. My cousin had recently moved there to purse her dreams of becoming an actress, dancer and singer. She invited me to celebrate her birthday. Berkharts had looked like an old tavern on the side of a warehouse. Built of wood, the architecture of the building displayed a clear history of its origins. With the sense of a clear history within the architecture, my body gravitated closer towards the building. I had never felt this sense before. The music created a line which one feels between the physical and spiritual world within the building. Passing the bouncer and entering the doorway, we saw a drag queen performing right in the middle of the club, Nicole Paige Brooks, a famous Drag Queen from the show Rupaul’s Drag Race. In awe of seeing her, I became intrigued by the way she interacted with the audience, while they gave her tip money. We went to the other side of the room to the bar. My cousin generously gave the bartender her card and told him that it was open for anybody who was with her. She told me I could drink as much as I wanted. I appreciated her generosity but drank only one drink. I started to get up from my seat, and then I noticed I could not move around because so many people were pushed up against each other. Many of them were ordering food or drinks while others migrated throughout the club.Gently forcing my body against the crowd, I moved from the bar and headed towards the patio. Opening the door, I faced a wooden structure protecting the open fire that people gathered around. On my left, there were stairs to the upper part of the club, and behind the stairs were more space for tables and chairs for people to sit and chat. My cousin and her friends were gathered on the wooden structure. I went upstairs and saw pool tables in front of me. I approached the wooden railing for a better view of the drag show. The way she lip-synced her heart out was hypnotic. As the music pulsed through my body, I noticed that the drag queen performer was really trying to earn enough money for the night. I felt her struggle and pain of doing what she loved to do while trying to support herself. Her eyes cried out pain, her body yearned for fame and her hand reached for the sky seeking a way out. It felt amazing how so many people around the world including people from the LGBT community suffer in many ways. Unfortunately, I did not have tip money that night.