The Next Adventure

Koh Phengan

jonnyoc — Mon, 3 Jan 2011 15:57:00 GMT

Day 13 Sat 18-12-2010
Boat ride across was bumpy as hell with a big swell so it took like twice as long to get there... we had to slow right down on the big sets to stop the boat snapping in half... Half the people on the boat were outside throwing up, I was deadly close to becoming one of them too... But we get there about 2.30PM and we get crammed into a Sung tal to Hadrin. So we find Same Same and got settled in. Really overcast day today. Had drinks at Same Same Team Sweden from Siounkville are staying there aswell. Met team Aus at same same had drinks with them. Went down to the beach Nath Bailed early to skype his wife. Chris got battered and i for once looked after him. it was his first night out since he arrived.

Day 14 Sun 19-12-2010
Nath and I went down the beach and chilled today, Chris and Dean weren't functional so slept allday. Drinks at Same Same again before heading to the pool party with Team Aus. Pool party was shit so we headed back to Hadrin. i bailed as i had crook guts or if you listen to Nath he thinks i was home sick... everyone else got battered, Dean picked up his wife tonight... I woke up to Nath standing in the middle of the room with a chicken snitzel burger and he looks at me (with the glassy drunk eyes we've all grown to love) and says'Your not having any ahaha'... I was like okay then hahahaha

Day 15 Mon 20-12-2010
I was feeling great this morning immodium working well. we went down the beach and chilled down there again today (tough life i no). Went out for dinner with Team Sweden tonight tonight drinks at Same Same again then down to the beach. Time for jonny to get on redBull tonight and run amuck. Dean left early pining for his wife and Nath bails to skype his wife. So Chris and i stay down there and cause some carnage with Chris looking after me again. So we get Chiken snitzel burgers and head home then i decide to head back and get another.... So apparently i skyped my snitzel burger to Ida saying 'Nathan cant have any'ahhahha take that Witkins!!!! Then i went and woke Dean up and said do you want some of my burger cause you can have some but NATHAN cant ahha double take Witkins!!!

Day 16 Full Moon Tues 21-12-2010
Ok so just for something different we decided to chill down at the beach again today. Didnt start drinking to early today as we were waiting for the Buffet to start at Same Same (we were forced to have it when we booked for like 400bht pffft) So we had the buffet where we all ate bugger all cause we dont eat that much while we are away... Except maybe Dean who prob got the best value for money cause he is like always eating.... So we play flip cup for the warmup drinks today with some danish girls, american dudes and some others which i cant remember now. Then the live band comes on (they were shit covers) but the atmosphere was still great and everyone was getting into it... Next thing you no we are all dancing on the tables causing carnage.... then we head down to the beach for some party antics... So Chris and i pass a dude who is passed out on the beacvh vomitting on his back, so we put him in the recovery position and move on (rescue #1) then we hit a bar and there is a asian dude (fat) passed out on the floor vommiting and everyone id=s just kicking him so we roll him over to then tell the bar guys he needs to be moved outta there and there like pfftttt and just keep on serving... some people around him have a mega phone that plays sounds and there playing an ambulance tubne on it whilst pointing and laughing... ( i mean to be fair that was pretty funny but at the same time pretty inhumane)... so Chris and i pick him up with another dude and carry him to a quiet spot put him in the recovery position , then a chick comes up and says i'm a nurse i'm a nurse and we're like he's all yours lady (rescue #2 complete) so after that we clocked off from rescueing and we danced the shit out of the stages and slightly dissappointed at the night head home (We found that the 2 lead up parties to the fullmoon were better than the actual night) but thats cool cause you win some and you lose some....

Day 17 Wed 22-12-2010
Ok so today was just a chill day and we munged out watching movies. I had an awesome massag/body realignment, got back fully cracked neck cracked hips worked so that was pretty awesome. Nath caught up on his femine side and watched roughly 30 episodes of gossip girl. Chris and i being the manly men we are watched all of season 7 of Entourage (awesome) so we are now upto date and waiting for season 8. And dean well i didnt pay attention to what he did so we'll say he watched South Park allday.. NICE ONE!!!!! thats the end of Koh Phengan peoples

Also we are feeling slightly lonely so if you have anything nice to say (actually it doesnt even have to be nice just something) can you comment on the blog... then we no it is actually getting read!!!

Cambodia Part 2

jonnyoc — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 19:37:00 GMT

Day 6 Sat 11-12-2010
Woke up early today to go on a boat trip to some Islands that we have no idea the name of. So the first stop we went snorkelling visability at about 5% and 2 fishes hmmmm but we did have awesome fun jumping off of the top level of the boat. Ok so the boat was pretty cool it was a 3 story with the bottom deck for food and old people that cant climb the stairs, the second story was a bar and rest level for those that dont like the sun and the third story was a sun deck for all the awesome people like us..... Ok so next stop was an amazing island that we swam about 50m to get to here we just chilled out in the water and did a little trek into the rain forest where i ticked off another of my things to do when Dean and I swang from tree vines like tarzan.... So we became friends with some Dutch girls on the trip we shall call them team Holland for future reference... So we made it back to the mainland in the arvo some time after the crazy German skipper got smashed behind the bar and you all may not beleive it but Dean didnt do anything stupid ALLDAY!!!! Ok so meet team Holland out for dinner bring the pack of cards and get absolutely Battered Nath got attacked by dogs on his way home and Dean and I rolled in about 5am after spending most of the night stumbling around the dance floor at JJ's....

Day 7 Sun 12-12-2010
Ok so the most i moved allday was from my bed to Naths and Deans bed to watch football replays. Dean on the other hand was a good bloke and took team Holland to the beach as we had promised and Nath well he pretty much just pined for Ida allday well that what it looked like to me anyways..... I did make it back down to the beach for the beach bbq just before sunset feeling as fresh as a squashed bobtail on a breezy 40' day... So tonight we just chilled and managed to stay awake to see an awesome game between Tottenham and Chelsea....

Day 8 Mon 13-12-2010
Ok so today got some quality time in relaxing on the beach feeling a bit crook today... Harden up Nath reckons... Pfft contemplated the boat party allday but decided that since we had to get picked up at 7.30am to head to Phmon Phen or what ever the capital is called... Had a couple of beers with a beach bbq sat in the magical rocking chair for a bit watched some true blood and got an early night. Nath woke up to watch Man Utd beat Arsenal i saw the goal and about 10 mins of the game and fell asleep

Day 9 Tue 14-12-2010
Got the bus to the capital found a guest house oh and i had to do 10 p-ups in amongst all the tuk tuk drivers whilst unloading baggage from the bus... OK so let me explain we have a game going where you have to do 10 p-ups if you say the word "mine" in any context, then we just try to set each other up all the time. And you have to do them then and there, so far I've done like a thousand and in the future (Wed) Dean finally pulls one on Nath in the middle of the club. So today we visit S-21 which was a school that got converted to a jail during Pol Pots regime. We met up with Evelyn here then went to the killing fields which was pretty savage to imagine what had happened there. At night we all went out for dinner and had a walk around the town and down by the river.. How romantic I know!!

Day 10 Wed 15-12-2010$1
OK, so today we caught the bus back to Siem Reap as we need to get back across the border to pick up Crisps in BKK. Upon arival we head to the mexican bar that has specials on Magharitas and Tacos $1 NICE ONE!!! Although, we decide Magharitas are shit and stick to beers. Here we meet an English guy called Paddy (shit parents) then 19 beers later we head to Ankor Wat bar for some carnage with beer towers. We hammered through about 5 of them so I was the first one to take myself off to sleep. Dean and Nath walk Team Tassie home then on the way back they stop for food Dean wants seconds so Nath heads back with out him and this is where Dean's escapades with the lady boys begin.... So he's walking back after his feed where lady boy 1 approaches him and starts grabbing his arm, then 100m down the road lady boy 2 appears so Dean realises amongst all the groping that he is horny but has no money so he trades his camera for a blow job.... or amongst all the groping he may have had the camera stolen (it depends who is telling the story...). So very satisfied with being pleasured by lady boys and getting some points he heads home. So, he busts through the door asking if we have his camera... NO DEAN we dont have your camera (every night he accuses us of losing his camera only to find it somewhere on his bed) so he realises that he has traded his camera for sex and might need the photos that are on there... or he realises it has been stolen (subjective)... So Dean's like right i'm gonna get it back, "Come on Nath" and storms out of the room.... Pretty sure Nath managed to get his head off of the pillow and that was about it and we both fell asleep again... 15 mins later, Dean comes back with his camera - GOOD MAN!!! He went down there approached them and said, "I pay, I pay", as they came over he unleashed the fury (which we are assuming he went back to the room to get) and went on a verbal rampage at some very bewildered "ITs" who proceeded to give him his camera back.... So they all touched each other's cocks and went their seperate ways!!!

cambodia part 1

jonnyoc — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 00:20:00 GMT

Day 3 Wed 8-12-2010

Ok so Deano and i wake up at 4.30am yes you heard me right jeez i havent got up at that time in well i cant remember oh apart from my flight out here anyways we did it so that we could see the amazing sunrise that comes over the temple (Ankor What) so we tuk tuk it out there which was actually awesome in th epitch black and navigate our way through the temple walls to the viewing area we get offered coffee about 200 times fair play i say i would have been in heaven if i was drinking coffee on the trip... so 6.10 no sunrise 6.15 no sunrise 6.25 no sunrise... Apparently the sun didnt want to rise today damn it bloody cloudy skies so we take off and see all the other temples which got boring cause they all look the same and i was TIRED!!! Although the tombraider temple was sick.... So not much else happened today we just ate chilled drank beer... tough life :)the we hopped on the over night bus to Sinoukville or what ever... Once again we stopped like 10 times on the way...

Day 4 Thur 9-10-2010

Get in and find accommadation about 7.30am and did we find accommadation we had to wait for rooms to become free and we scammed a 3 bed (doubles) up some stairs where we are the only room with our own balcony and it even has a shower and a toilet that doesnt flush that well but who cares for $3 each a night. Ok so then we head down the beach catch some rays plenty of pesty kids trying to flog stuff who get angry and insult you although one of them saidf i was dark and i was like your a good man i've been working on thi shit you no :) he may have called me a stingy cunt aswell but i think he was just messing around... Ok so massive night again this 50c beers $2 meals Brilliant and now we are on the coast so i'm loving life... Got in about 3am well nath and i did after stopping for Pizza... Deano on the other hand out till sunrise again this boys crazy!!!!

Day 5 Fri 10-12-2010

Ok so get up about 8 brekky time and laundry... Then begins an eventful and hilarious day.. we decide to hire scooters which is one of my favourite pastimes amongst other things.. So we scooter of to a more secluded beach that sounds like Otis and chill there for the day Nath is way to hung over so bails and Deano and I hire kayaks so we can paddle out to an island which is about 4km away so off we trek... Oh wait a minute i forgot 2 of the funniest thing EVER!!! hahahah pissing myself now haha Deano takes off on his motor bile over accelerate nearly takes out the back of my bike i turn around and see him wobble nearly drop the bike, he blows a thong out but keeps it up then accelerates across the road down the gravel embankment where he finally comes to a stop... I nearly crash cause i'm laughing so much the locals are trying to be repsctful but are having agreat time watching it oh if only we had a camera.... deano great moment number 2 we pull up for fuel so Nath and i hop off and open up the fuel Dean's sitting on his bike when he says to me Jonny how do i turn this off ahhahah I walk up and turn the key ahha oh my god hours of entertainment :)

ok so back to the Kayaks and Island we make it there hop off on the 5 metre beach ( it's asmall island) there are 5 locals on it fishing in there jocks and 2 tourist whop also Kayaked out when we take off i may have hit a rock then we get about 50 metres out and i'm like Deane i think my Kayak is fill with water, he turns around and is like yeah ya bacvk end is under water... Pretty much like the titanic is say. So using my best rescues stroke i drag the Kayak back to the Island which was bloody hard cause it was 90% submerged in the mean time i mange to kick a sea urchin which stabs me in the foot dam it and i send Deano off to ask the boat that has snorkellers on it if it will take us back to the mainland with Dean's shit negotiating skills we have to pay 10 bucks to get back Happy Days!!! Dean in negpotiation mode Boat dude i''l take you back but you have to pay me... Dean ok 5 or 10 bucks Boat dude 10 bucks Geez way to go Dean :) Ok so we make it back thanks to our ride..... Later that night Nath and i take the scooters out for a ride and in the middle of nowhere nath gets a flat hahah take that ok so we sort that shiot out and head out but get home early at 2am.... ha poor Dean has been th butt of all our jokes but he's a good man so thats ok!!!

Bangkok

jonnyoc — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 15:10:00 GMT

Day 1 Monday 6-12-2010

Ok so arrived in bangkok at about 7.30pm after some very bumby plane rides ahhhhh. So first things first Chang time them dinner then buckets then club then time for Jonny to take himself off to sleep a good combination of an epic weekend no sleep and alcohol = no good to anyone. Deano was out on his adventures till daylight and after falling in love with a monkey named Abu he was devistated to wake up without him... Good on him!!!!

Day 2 Tuesday 7-12-2010

Early start this morning all a bit worse for wear. Caught the bus across the border to Siem Reap today and so began our dayu of waiting. we must have stopped at everyone's friends place on the way to the border to buy food apparently they dont like driving for more than 2 hours at a time before stopping. Tried to get scammed about 10 times for our visas they finally gave in and let us do it at the border as it is half price there then the cops at the border tried to scam us 100bht ha like hell buddy..... So got into Siem Reap about 8pm found accommadation which was only $3US an night brilliant!!!! Then went to pub street had a bevy and something to eat then chilled in room watching football replays...