She's Come Undone

Cheers!!! :)

fascinatingsleep — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 06:41:00 GMT

So I posted two stories since my last post, but I deleted them because I felt I wasn't in the right mindset to express my true self and feelings. I was going through a little culture shock. Missing my family, hating my new place because I missed my family, being a little more emo than usual, and all sorts of other emotions. It's totally natural and I could have kept the posts...but they weren't me, so I deleted them due to their emo-esque nature.

Things are really good. This place is totally different from anywhere in the states mostly due to it's energies more than vernacular, etc. I suppose vernacular makes up a countries vibes but there is some undercurrent here that creates a life that doesn't take things so serious. I love that. Why take things so seriously? Everything is one big funny joke. Life is so sad when you look at the big picture, yet so beautiful; so enjoyable, yet so atrocious. All you can do is laugh.

Eve Island:

Anyway, I went kayaking today with Ash. I met a lady through couchsurfing named Jane. She is about 50 I suppose and is an amazing woman with so much spirit. Ash is staying at her farm house back behind Glandore village. She has two kayaks today so we met up with her at the Glandore Marina and she saw us off. We spent 3 hours on the water coasting along the shore. The water is crystal clear and you can see a garden of seaweed everywhere. Shells and clams, too. The coast is all rock with caves everywhere and birds. We kayaked out to this island in the middle of the two coasts in the harbour, Eve Island. We were relieved to get there so we could eat our lunch (Mine being a smoked salmon and butter sandwich and Ash's being a veggie one with pesto and vinegar courtesy of my mad skillzzzz!). We had a hard time getting off the kayaks because there really wasn't a beach on this island...it was all rock climbing picturesque type landscape with some inlets of huge mossy rocks. We made it to a shore that seemed suitable enough and I stubbed my toe getting out and she dropped her camera in the water. We just ran straight to the driest rock and stuffed our mouths. Ash was chilling trying to get her feet dry and sorta sad about her camera so I went off to climb a big rock and see the view....then her kayak started drifting away but she wasn't moving so fast to get it so I was like dodging down this steep, mossy rock trying not to fall and cursing the whole way "FUCKKKKK!!! SHITTT!!!!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO???" Ash was just laughing her ass off as I was freaking out...So I hopped in my kayak and went out to catch hers...attached hers to mine via rope and just tried to paddle my way back. It was hilarious, actually. Right when we got back we were so wet and cold that we were like...fuck it...let's head back. Whenever the sun would come out we would hold each others' kayaks close and just lie back and have the sun set on our face...it was a meditative experience lying in those kayaks in the middle of the ocean; so vulnerable yet so free.

Before her kayak drifted away:

Me :) :

crystal clear water:

On my birthday we set off to Clonakilty after a veggie pizza and fried mushrooms at Dinty's pub in Unionhall. Paid for by Sarah (thanks!). We saw a band called Interference. Check them out! (www.interference.ie) It costs 15 euro to get into the show which bummed us out but after the show we were so refreshed to see some amazing, Irish music. They were so good. We took a taxi home, I snuck Ash into my house and yeah...it was fun :)

At Da Barras pub before the Interference show:

I'm having fun...Jane's house is going to be my new sanctuary. She does Thai Massage and is trying to get her certificate in Energy Healing. She has a lot of insight on life due to her wisdom from old age and I feel I can learn a lot from her. Her house felt so close to a home because it reminded me of my mom a little...and my sister...and my grandma's house in the country in Georgia. It was an old school farm house but there were books on Celtic Art and Celtic History, she cooked us a lasagna with fake beef like Jen would totally do...there was no heat so you had to put on a fire to warm up. It was perfect. I loved it there.

On the way to Janes...Ash looking out over the harbour:

Ash going in the tunnel on the way to the castle:

Gotta go because Ash and I are going to grab a drink at Moloney's. I have the kids practically by myself for 4 days because Rory is working and Sarah is out of town....it'll be mad crazy but....St. Patty's is on the 17th...so, yeah...I'll dish that story out when the time comes :)

Ashley

Finally here!!!

fascinatingsleep — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:20:00 GMT

Hello. So I arrived in Ireland last night...I got to the house in Unionhall at 9 pm. Sarah's dad, Tony, picked me up at the airport. I was wondering if he knew what I looked like (and what he looked like). The most perfect gentlemen was looking around and I could just tell it was him. He took a look at me and I said, "Tony???"...he was like "YESSS!! And you are Ashley? WONDERRFULLLLL!!!" He gave me a big hug and the natural you are in Europe kiss on the cheek. The hour drive from Cork to Unionhall we talked about where I was from, he was from, where we have been, where we want to go...he took me on the scenic route through the villages. He is flying to Austria next week with his wife Judy to go skiing. He's scared he said...he hasn't been skiing in 5 years. His family, the family I'll become a part of, owns a farm here in Unionhall. The farm grows fruit (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, apples...). They just got 5 chickens so all of the eggs are fresh. They have 2 horses, kayaks, bikes. He asked me if I liked the outdoors...and I LOVE the outdoors...he said I could use his kayak and go for a stroll on the coast around the 3 finger peninsulas. He said I can also borrow the bike for strolls in the countryside. I am so excited!!!

When I arrived at the house I got a warm welcome from the oldest girl, Rachel, who is 4 years old. She is beautiful!!! Oh my gosh...she's gonna be a looker :) The father, Rory, is really nice! After we put Rachel to bed we sat up and watched t.v. and talked about everything. I told him I was starving...he goes, "Do you like salmon?" I told him how my whole family is from Alaska and it's a sin to NOT like salmon. So he pulled some fresh smoked salmon out of the fridge, a tub of butter and some bread. I made butter and smoked salmon sandwiches...and may I just say that those were wonderful!!!! We sat and watched Italy vs. Chelsea football (soccer). He told me that everyone here drinks and to not be shy about that!!! We even talked about the green stuff if you know what I mean. He said him and his wife, Sarah, have been to Amsterdamn twice. I asked them if they remembered it. Haha...I have NO filter. Seriously. He said to watch out in the village...that everyone wants to know everyone else's business. He told me if I got too drunk and acted a fool that everyone would know about it within the day. Then I just HAD to go to bed. I got about 2 hours of sleep from LA to London...but that's about it in the past 2 days. I went upstairs and put a good deal of clothes up, took a shower...then I passed out after reading a few good chapters of my new book: Stern Men by Elizabeth Gilbert. My bedroom AND this house is absolutely beautiful. Modern design...my bedroom has a really cool painting in it! Candles, too. I set up my picture Rebecca drew for me right next to my bed.

Rachel woke me up this morning...the grandmother, Judy, is taking care of them for the day so that I can get settled here. They are out and about right now. Pretty much I help out with the kids and the house. I walk Rachel to school in the village every morning...then take the youngest, Kate, out for a walk whenever I care to. They drive on the opposite side of the road here...and I get to use their car so I need to get used to that! It's a stick shift, as well...Nick taught me how to drive a stick in Birmingham once...but that was 2-3 years ago. Rory is going to teach me, he said. When Tony picked me up from the airport I go to sit in the car and I open up what I thought to be the passenger side...then he looks at me and goes "are you going to drive?". Haha. The whole steering wheel being on the other side was just too strange.

Going to go now....I am going to finish packing my room and then I am going to maybe even take a nap. I have got to transition into this time zone. It may take a few weeks. Bye!!!!!!!!!

Another coffee shop....different city, though :)

fascinatingsleep — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:56:00 GMT

I'm on San Vicente and Barrington sipping on a dirty chai at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. It's been a long day so far...I woke up at 530 and walked in the dark streets to a bus stop...but it was the wrong bus stop. So I wandered around for 20 minutes and found where I was supposed to be all along...right around the corner. Thank god I left the hostel early to give myself time to get lost. Anyway...Matt picked me up. Very good to see him and very sweet of him to do so. We went to this restaurant on Santa Monica Pier and from our booth you could see the ocean and it was AWESOME. I had 2 bloody marys and it is good I ended it at 2...let me just tell you that.

I miss my fam already. Rebecca and I have become SO close these past few days and so it was hard to say bye. Brooke...love her...so much. She was with Lucas though so she was really happy and where she needed to be. It was amazing to spend time with my bro and sis as a family again.

At the moment I have no fear. I am really quite happy and courageous with my journey ahead. I am just going to wander Santa Monica all day until I have to be back at the Federal Building at one. I ran like 3 blocks with a 20 pound shoulder bag at 7 this morn' because I got off at the wrong bus stop. I was 10 minutes late to my appointment....I felt like....INSANITY was drawing near. I freak my shit way too easily though.

Anyway...BEACH TONIGHT. that's all that matters.

Photos: Utah and Ireland

fascinatingsleep — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 18:09:00 GMT

Family Time

fascinatingsleep — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 17:56:00 GMT

So I'm spending the night with my sis to get some quality time with her and Dave. I haven't gotten to spend much time with them since knowing I was definitely going to do this thing! She just made me watch Halloween 2. Holy cow. That was TOO intense. I honestly liked it, though. I like Rob Zombie...I would totally (try) and seduce him. He's hot. Anyway, enough of that girl talk...Momma just called...asking me 20 questions. "You packed all of your stuff?" "Everything all together, now?" "You put your jewelry in ziploc baggies?" "You aren't selling clothes you wear, right?" (to the consignment shop). Yeah...she's DEFINITELY a mom. I love her though.

Tonight I freaked on my room mates. They said they might have their friends birthday party at our place. I cleaned it for like 4 hours yesterday so that it's all nice and snazzy for my going away party and Josh's arrival tomorrow. I'm like NOOOOO!!!!!!! DON'T MESS THE HOUSE UP!!!! I just started worrying! Hope they understand :/

SO...tonight is my sister's house. The house I came to when I moved here to try and find sanity in my life. I'm in the office now, which was my room. So it's fitting...Trying not to put TOO much symbolism in my day to day motions...but this IS symbolic. It's a big circle. The circle of life!

Tomorrow: TWO going away parties. AWWWWWWW...I feel loved. Josh is coming!!! (that part is my favorite). My surprise for Jen's birthday...an hour massage with Tibetan prayer and REIKI done by a magnificent healer of a woman. That part is my second favorite. THEN....gotta prepare for my departure tomorrow. I'M EXCITED!!!!

Bumps in the Road

fascinatingsleep — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 03:42:00 GMT

So here I am...at my local spot, Sugarhouse Coffee, sippin' on an espresso and worrying. Worrying about the law. Running from the law. Warrant for my arrest? NO! ME???? Not me??? But yes...that's what happens when you don't have the cash to pay for a 200 dollar speeding ticket. That's what happens when paying for a speeding ticket is the last thing on your to do list. Hm. I just didn't want to hand money over to the state like that. Now I am dealing with the consequences. Let's see if I can make it to Ireland, now! Suspended driver's license due to not paying the ticket...AHHHH!!! Woe is me! Let's see if I can get my passport! These bumps....when will they be smoothed out? Honestly...I'm a retard! There is just that huge part of me that's wants to be taken off the grid so badly! I don't even incorporate myself into the whole capitalist scheme...I feel I just don't mentally belong. I believe I don't belong...until I'm having to owe the state money for fear of my criminal record. Not paying a ticket...does that mean I'm a criminal? So weird! Never thought it would be me! Anyways...going over it over and over again in my head won't help things. All I can do is hope...and PRAY...that I will be handed my passport at 3 o'clock Monday the 22nd. All I can do is PRAY. lkadsjg;lkadsjgmm.....WOE IS ME!