Dance on the edge of the world

On the way to the top (which smells of cinnamon)

ephemeral — Tue, 9 Jun 2015 20:40:00 GMT

My eyes are getting filled with tears. I have had enough! I am too tired to make even one more step. I am sitting down on the ground, refusing co-operation. We are half way through, that is the most difficult to accept - there is no coming back. We have to climb this mountain. On the top there is sweet hot tea and maybe even, if we are lucky, overpriced yet heavenly delicious, apple pie. But more than that - there's, I'm sure, I have learnt it before as it is not the first mountain my little legs are going to climb - breath-taking, mind-blowing, life-changing view. Space which means freedom, I understand that already, I am a smart little beast. And a promise of the sky, so close that you have an impression of brushing your head with the clouds.

I started to hike with my father while my backpack was bigger than myself. I was probably around six years old when I set my foot for the first exhilarating time on the top.

It became inevitable ritual for me, to break down in the middle of the trail, thinking that I cannot do it anymore, it is too hard this time, too heavy, too high, too hot... Never boring though. And then getting magical power just to give the next small step. And one more. And another...

Till you miraculously end up on the top, where you understand in a glance why this whole effort. You can only stand there, amazed and gasping. And you cannot wait to do it again!

I remember that everybody on the trail was bonded with a secret. We were aiming for the same goal. We would smile to each other and say hello like we would have known each other all our lives. The ones who were going in opposite direction, coming back from the trail, would pass me sweets and lie that it is only fifteen minutes more to the tip. I knew it is not truth, but I still loved them claiming so. It was sort of a mysterious trick - even realising they just say so to comfort me (poor child, she's got crazy father to drag her all this way up!), it would still make the next bit somehow easier.

When I was 19, I packed few books, blank notebooks, sleeping bag and tango shoes, put $50 in my pocket and hit the road. I did not know where I am going, how I am gonna get there and why. I knew I am climbing the mountain. I wanted to see those uniting smiles. I desired to find magical strength when you think you cannot do it anymore. And I trusted that somewhere there is waiting for me hot apple pie with a heart-warming view. I was hiking again.

Do you want a ride on my roller coaster?

ephemeral — Sun, 31 May 2015 11:17:00 GMT

It takes me to unbelievable places, goes up and down till it's pleasurably spinning in my head, forces me to scream and sigh with relief, causes my heart to beat fast and rhytmically like salsa.

It is extreme, adventerous, risky... It's unexpected and fast. And beautiful, in this vivid, breath-taking way.

The warm wind messes my hair, making me feel alive, so alive that I can hear my blood singing. It awaits me in the morning to jump in and start a totally new, surprising day.

There are no windows, so you won't see a reflection on the glass, but you will be able to touch, sense and smell the real thing. No seat belts, instead you'll get the chance to meet face to face the person you think you are.

I do not need a ticket. I'm a driver. Do you dare to take a ride?

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Photos: Do you want a ride?

ephemeral — Fri, 29 May 2015 06:07:00 GMT

Photos: At the end of the road the journey begins

ephemeral — Mon, 25 May 2015 08:30:00 GMT

Photos: Let's talk personal

ephemeral — Mon, 25 May 2015 07:42:00 GMT

Face to face

Photos: Sunrise in Karnak

ephemeral — Sat, 23 May 2015 07:11:00 GMT

Confessions of fire

ephemeral — Sat, 23 May 2015 06:43:00 GMT

If you ever felt like not belonging, this is for you:

She was faster than anyone she ever knew. She was multiplying herself to be in as many parallel universes at the same time as possible. She was breathing such a huge bites of air that she was nearly choking herself to death. She could run till her body was melting with the movement, like a shutting star, but she didn't know how to walk. She danced wild like a hurricane, but she was incapable of sitting in one place. She was falling in love immediately, passionately, eternally, but she would never stay. She was reckless, insane driver on the no-speed-limit high way of her life, she knew no red lights, no stop signs, not afraid of crashing as she has been a survivor, one leg on the other side too many times before. She was always burning, boiling, steaming. She was faster and more hungry than fire and yet she had still this inevitable impression of being constantly too late, missing out on those little things available only for tree-like people, stable and patient ones, for those who can wait.
She was faster than time, she could do this circus trick of being in the past, present and future simultaneously, but no one was clapping, because there wasn't anybody who could catch up with her to see the whole maneuver.

The Look of Unexpected

ephemeral — Sat, 23 May 2015 03:48:01 GMT

I didn't even plan to visit this country in a first place. It was a travelling gamble. I've lived in sure-fire Bangkok on semi-squat called - a promise and a curse- Overstay. So I gladly overstayed, following blissful while wandering, randomness, a queen of backpackers and artists.
I had to renew my visa by doing easy and popular "visa run" to the neighbouring country. I said bye to my crazy friends, outcasts by choice who were making this slot so special, certain I'm going to see them the next day at the party and hit a short this time, I believed, road.
I hitchhiked to the border, arrived late and asked myself: what's now?
Not thinking much I started to walk straight ahead, in a direction of a sunset. I played with a children, cheered a volleyball match...
And as usually in a moment of doubt, I've met someone. She smiled and asked where the hell I'm going as after this village there is nothing except the jungle.
And then, kind spirit and huge heart, she invited me to her place.
That's how I started to fall in love with Laos. I decided that actually it would be silly to leave without any attempt to understand what this corner of the world is all about.
What you cannot not notice, is how every part of life there is merged with spirituality. The country is immersed in Buddhism in this rare way of not having the religion, but living it. It wasn't an island on the ocean of life, it was a main drift.
Next day I went to the first temple I came across. While wandering around, trying to "feel the place", I met a young boy in monk's robe smiling in this special genuine way I quickly discovered has been characteristic of people living there. So I said straightforwardly: I want to move in here.
He laughed - You would be a first woman in the history to do so!
But then he noticed I'm serious. - You know it is against our religion, don't you?
- Well, let me speak to the "boss"- I've heard myself saying.
With the mixture of amusement and disbelief, he went to search for Sayadej, the guard of the temple. I was waiting in the warm darkness, feeling already home. And then he came. It was a long, deep sight. He wasn't saying anything for minutes which seemed like eternity. I'd swear he was screening me, reading who I am.
Then he nodded. He pulled the key out of his pocket and said: welcome. I saw the other monks gasping. And when I was going to my new room, I've heard Sayadej calling with sparks of laughter in his voice:
Do you always get what you want?

My Scholarship entry - A 'place' I have visited

ephemeral — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 02:15:25 GMT

Travelling is nothing but a dance: it is ephemeral, it is all about movement, getting connected and obviously - people, since there is nothing like a wild journey to discover the deepest beauty and the darkest side of humanity.
So I am a nomad dancer, searching for sparks and spreading the fire.
I have been living on way since 4 years ago, visited 37 countries, falling in love with the world, varieties, passions and war stories over and over again.
It is not just wandering anylonger, it is the pure essence of life.