Soulful Ashes

ASHES TO SNOW

Having thrown up for a second time, I clutched my stomach in total despair, my other hand grappling my walking stick, trying to steadily hold up my limp and exhausted body. I was playing a game of physical and mental anguish, with the mental demons unwavering in their pursuit of trying to deploy a forceful scenario.

Tanzania’s invigorating night air robustly infected my lungs and mind with unvarnished clarity; the demons would be gone, and the journey ahead would be conquered. Each ice chilling breath saw me continue my hike towards Africa’s highest peak. Each heavy sodden step saw me reason with myself, that no amount of mental anguish could outweigh the feeling of grief.

Part of my journey for climbing Tanzania’s Mt.Kilimanjaro was for my father. Having passed away 3 months earlier, climbing Kilimanjaro was something I had previously discussed with my Dad. I had promised, as he was slowly losing his battle with cancer, that if he so wished, I would spread some of his ashes on the highest peak in Africa. Regardless of circumstance or timing, grief is never easy for one to deal with. It is life’s most challenging and possibly cruellest anomaly, therefore hiking up a mountain was nothing in comparison.

Engulfed by the sun’s rising array of warmth and colour, exhilaration of having reached Africa’s highest peak, was met with a congratulatory sign. “Congratulations. You are now at Uhuru Peak. 5895metres.” Ashes in hand, I sighed in thoughtfulness, gazing longingly at the snow capped crater. Soft sentimental tears nourished Africa’s ground and I spoke quietly to Dad. It was the first Christmas Day without his physical presence, yet he had guided me on this agonising journey. He’d ensued that I met sincere local Tanzanian’s, who showed me the wondrous charms of their splendid mountain. He’d directed all Chameleons towards my hiking path, allowing me stop and gaze in astonishment at their rare beauty. Their mechanism of colour changing, being a hypnotic mantra of life, change is inevitable.

The bright snow glistened mirthfully as I introduced my sophisticated father to Tanzania’s jewel. Upon Africa, part of Dad could now abode in complete insouciance.