frightful tales (don't judge me)

hi, i'm SA LAH

avoidthenastyones — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 01:06:00 GMT

so it's our 2nd to last night in Dalian...and it has been a lovely night, i must say.

nothing better than ending a party at 10 p.m....

ok, so i will miss my new friends alot. 很多 amounts of missing going on. but i am so ready to to see my old friends, and go out with my 同学们。and i am really ready to see 我家人。我想他们。

but...i am not ready to go back, too. i want to stay here (在中国）and just frollick around. (especially through meadows)

i don't know. i think i am very good at writing pointless stories which only showcase my indecisiveness or lack of good grammar. and i taught english. the reason i write specifically of my bad grammar now is because i do not know if "showcase" should be "showcases"...

anyway, our litle party earlier consisted of us 三个老妇女（3 old bitches),endless,jackie, my space cadet, ugly vera, and talent.

at the milk tea bar, there were broadcasting students there (one of who i know, she helped me study once,randomly) and they wanted us to say something about christmas which would be broadcasted on the speakers on campus...

oh lovely, there is nothing more appealing than knowing that the whole university will get to hear my voice on christmas and be reminded of that one red head 奇怪美国人。

well, i did it.

and it was awful. (i like the enter key if you do not know. i think it adds suspense)

i mentioned chinese boys being handsome and chinese girls being beautiful and chinese food being good and i talked really fast about the "awesome gifts from china i have for my family". i also introduced myself as SA-LAH. yes, wonderful christmas monologue, 对不对？

i'm done.

this is my last story in china. congratulations readers, no more torture.

: )

11 days

avoidthenastyones — Wed, 9 Dec 2009 13:08:00 GMT

十一天。只十一天！

how come every trip always gets the most exciting when you have less than 2 weeks left? i think i have had more fun recently than i did the entire months of october and november (though national holiday was lovely)

and now suddenly my students are like "hey, sarah! we are total dumbasses for not realizing how glorious you were from the beginning. we wasted 3 months of you being here. now we want to cram 3 months of fun into 10 days, and it will be even more exciting because you have to prepare for your finals too! 加油"

ok.

well, i know my students are not entirely to blame. it takes me a long while to warm up to a crowd...like maybe 3 months. stupid shyness/introvertedness/overall akwardness.

i am kind of devoid of all thought currently. so i am done writing.

sounds like a good time to study chinese.

i am struggling to come up with something witty. the last line always has to be chuckle-worthy...

Someday i will write entire stories on world nomads in chinese or arabic.

got it!!!!

Monday November 9, 2009

avoidthenastyones — Mon, 9 Nov 2009 12:26:00 GMT

so today is monday. you know what i say about mondays, right?! the fabulous start to a tremendous week!!!! (ok, so anybody who knows me should know i don't say that. just sayin) but yeah, lately it has not been toooo boring here, and by not toooo boring i mean i haven't wanted to shove pencils in my pupils (ahhh! which pupils am i talking about? you be the judge). i went to lushun yesterday since our school and hotel did not have power. i bought clothes and went to the arcade. yes, a chinese arcade is similar to an american arcade, except that the arcade is a tad bit hotter and smellier. i tried my hand at some skiing. basically if i ever tried skiing in real life i would die. because of course arcade skiing tells you how it's really gonna be. so if i go from rock to rock in the game, splitting my skull open, ...you can figure it out.

i teach today. let me tell you how excited i am.

anyway, i think i have gained some weight. i began to suspect the extra weight might be from the pure muscle i gained from all the use of gong fu in daily life, but i have begun to realize i was wrong. it's actually called fat.

well, that's depressing me. so on to another topic. i am freezing. my poor pathetic fingers are working so hard to press the keys down, they are numb and purple. my god. the dedication i show. i painstakingly write these honest to the core words. someday someone will appreciate them. i know it.

ok, i am done being dramatic, done procrastinating (until i find another method, maybe the watching of chinese soap operas will be next) and i will try to study, come up with a lesson plan, get my life back on track, reconnect with loved ones, etc etc etc etc.

It's been a long time, been a long time coming...

avoidthenastyones — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:08:00 GMT

So i am ashamed to say that the inspiration behind this oh-very-creative title was P.O.D, the band i listened to when i was in 7th grade. They were bad-ass, talking about god and all...Don't judge me! it was 7th grade...and maybe a few more years after. Don't even point out the logic. (if i listened to it in 7th grade, how could i remember the words? i would obviously have had to listen to the music recently...) My response: 7th grade was only a few years ago for me!!

i am afraid i may be losing some of my sarcasm. sometimes i wake up during the night in a cold sweat just thinking about it. i have been trying so hard to get my students to understand things, simple things, and have not been able to be sarcastic (b/c that boggles their minds for some reason) so i feel like i am wasting my brain cells (because all of my brain cells are sarcastic). yes, teaching has made me that bitter that i use brain cells as a reason to not teach. it is not my calling, especially when i only try to be friends with everyone, which brings me to another story...

In pretty much the only class that i enjoy teaching, there is...oh-you-guessed-it, a boy, who is very good at English and helps me study. i would say we are getting to know each other. at first, i will admit, i was interested in what would come of it, he's cute and nice and understands most of what i say. He also had a quality that made me very interested. He was mysterious. He would look at me sometimes and i would have no clue what he's thinking. i would ask "hey, what are you thinking?" (the subtle person i am) and he would say "oh, nothing" For some reason, it made me want him more. Then a few nights ago, maybe a week ago, i don't know, he said he wanted to confess something. he did it through e-mail (oh you chinese people and using technology to communicate)....it was scary, that e-mail...i shuder even thinking about it. he said he loved me........................................................................... yeah. my thoughts exactly. who the fuck would say that to me????!!!! so i did what any girl named Sarah Judith Hewitt would do. i ignored it, and did not mention it. i thought i did a good job of just letting it die. that is, until he asked me how i felt a few days later. i did not tell him how i felt, because the truth is, i didn't know. he was no longer appealing in any way because he lost his mysteriousness. he was no longer the unattainable. so finally, like two, three nights ago, i told him i only wanted to be his friend. since then he has avoided the heck out of me. lovely story. so i feel like a pathetic little girl because by ignoring things, i sort of led him on. and then i emotionally kicked him in the balls. i feel bad, yet, the masochistic part in me is just jumping for joy because HA! the little boy told me he loved me and he expected me to say that i loved him back? Dumb ass! i don't even know him well enough for that.

that is all i want to say on that topic. i feel a little uncomfortable just thinking about it. in other news, the hotel sucks. reebs was in the hospital and is recovering slowly. i officially suck at Chinese. i am excited for beijing. the weather is like ohio. tyler has an awesome class with two really cute guys that are good at english and i don't have the courage to ask them to help me study (since i lost my friend who would normally help, and yes i know i only ask boys to help me study). i have one class i really like, the others make me feel like i am constantly PMSing because they make me happy one week then piss me off the next. i got my hair cut and i love it. 10 kuai. reebs and i go running at night with our friend yao. she's awesome. and that's basically it.

lovely little bunch of bananas

avoidthenastyones — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:34:00 GMT

so i'm sittin' here, like studying and stuff when i call my home boy endless. i'm like dude, i need some fuckin help with this fuckin homework. it be a bitch. so he like, dude yeah i help you. so hes looking ats it and realizes that well by heavens, it ain't the most helpful tootinist thing ever. it be only for grammar stuff, writing them there chinese characters don't do a gosh darn thing for conversation. it only for writin.

that's a good story for you. i like how it describes my overall thoughts and feelings about China (it's freakin China for pete's sake!). i also like how my story captures day-to-day experiences and recounts good times with new friends. it basically paints a picture for you about my life here in this country.........

yep.

btw, i hope you understand what my title implies. if not, well i got your oblivious backs covered. i am so frustrated by chinese boys (especially the cute ones who say you're very beautiful but have girlfriends) and girls when it comes to us "beautiful country" people. and i am also frustrated by the fact that nobody can explain why they like hanging out with me, but advised that i should be more like becca (outgoing, sociable,pretty, etc.)..yep. self-esteem points earned right there... and i am super frustrated that people in the dorms have 10 p.m. curfews. that is so dumb and just outright irritating. heaven forbid a twenty-year old be treated like an adult...that's probably why college here seems so much like highschool...

i just learned a new fact about myself. i guess i am one of those people who thinks if you want to be treated a certain way, you better act the way that you want to be treated...it reminds me of my momma. maybe i am ok with that??

anyway, that's it. i will go do homework some more. yippee!!!!!!

Genesis, Blood, Easy, Panda, and others

avoidthenastyones — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 01:23:00 GMT

i dedicate this journal to my Tuesdee (i hope to God you read this Casey. did it for you) early-in-the-fuckin-morning class. and yes, 8 am is what i call early-in-the-fuckin-morning. A few moments ago,before i got distracted and careless, i was wondering how to prepare these little guys for the English CET test...right now, as i'm typing, i am actually not thinking of that at all. i am thinking of the brown "thing" that lets others know where in the world you are, and is bigger than the country of Tanzania (on the map, of course). And it is a "thing" because it lacks male genitalia (though i don't know why world nomads would suddenly get specific about anatomy...) but has outlines of boobs, kinda like a girl about to hit puberty(which my mom called the "act of becoming a woman").i won't write more because i know i could get really crazy about "woman" crap, so i'll shoosh (i highly doubt i spelled that right...and i teach english to chinese kids. classic). But now that i got that out into the open, i am worrying again about this darn CET test.

Another thing that's got me nervous is the fact that these kids actually expect me to teach WELL. oh, expectations. i have been texting one student (Genesis, in particular...love his name, and he is sooo dreamy!! ha. don't judge me! i am a girl, after all) and he wants to do really well on the test, and he wants my help, and he said most of the kids feel the same way. To get a good job, they need to know English. So, i feel like i am carrying the weight of the world (world being 60 students, tops) on my shoulders. But i will just give it to Jesus, right? (oh, no. the bitterness). But that still doesn't help me figure out what to teach these little buggers (i just said little buggers like an Aussie would, yay!). i will just continue being nervous, though. i probably won't sleep a wink. i will pace the room, however, so i will get some exercise. gotta work off that squid...

p.s. i really really badly want to say "shake of a lamb's tail". i don't know why, i just hope somebody says something in which i can *appropriately* remark, "Be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail". Notice the keyword, if you will.

p.p.s. i really am craving some Chipotle now. i don't like it.

p.p.p.s. i am kinda curious to see how many p's i can get to. i really did have an intention for this one...whatev.

tah tah

For pete's sake...

avoidthenastyones — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 11:40:00 GMT

You know what's soooo lovely?? Forgetting/being too tired to write a story about all the happenings in China. It's so much fun trying to recall all the things that have made this trip *memorable*. i am not saying this trip isn't memorable, it's actually quite far from that. It's just so many fun little awesome things have been going on that my poor pathetc mind is overwhelmed and can't even begin to decide on a story to start with.

So i guess this journal was pretty pointless...but it kinda makes me laugh because i know at least one person will waste their time reading this entry (Becca!)...good times.

p.s. My Chinese is...oh!(you guessed it) still awful...yeah. i'm working on it. slowly but surely.
i think.

First day of class, proves to dad i AM an ass...

avoidthenastyones — Tue, 1 Sep 2009 14:35:00 GMT

Well, today i am feeling particularly italicized...i don't really know what that means, your guess is as good as mine...Also, i think the title sums up the whole journal, so i'm done. Oh fine, i will go into details. Today was the first day of class, a class which consists of Tyler, B, and i...makes me think of individualized attention, right? Well, since i mentioned Tyler as being in my class, my test didn't go horribly wrong. It went pretty badly, but was not horrible like poor Alexander's day was (Yeah, i just made a picture book reference, but it's a glorious picture book!!) . i at least placed into the level that i should be at. Class was 3 hours long................................................. (just imagine that pause times like a bazillion, that was class, and will be class for the next week).

Later, to Lushun!!! I am so excited, though i can't take any freakin' pictures because miss. sleep in till time to leave airport and forget to pack small stuff forgot her stupid battery charger...<---- these ... signify my dissapointment right now. But hey, i am in China!!!! i have eyes and a memory (though, shitty) so i don't need a blasted camera! i got tired of italics, by the way. It is too pretty for my thoughts.

oh yes, today i got up at 6 a.m. and had a scalding hot bath (almost second-degree burn worthy)!! i washed my hair, so look out China fellas!!

功课场合 (yes. homework is now an event/occasion).

Tah Tah

yep. Dalian.

avoidthenastyones — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 23:39:00 GMT

i have been here in Dalian for a full 24 hours, thereabout. On to another topic... my Mandarin is awful. When people ask me questions in English i usually take my sweet old time to answer, because i like to think about what the question implies wholly. When people ask me questions in Mandarin i become more than just a slow-to-respond person; i become a brick wall...i understand a few words here and there, but i definitely need to work on my responses...because like a brick wall, i don't really have any. The up side is i have 4 months to work on it! (God help me if it takes that freakin long to start responding and conversing)

Today Tyler got here and gave us a little tour. We went to the beach and some stores, got snacks, and played ping pong with the cook. I just got back from playing a *free* game of billiards with tyler. But playing the game involved us waking up the owner's wife and newborn child. We didn't like it but the owner insisted and turned on the music for us and everything. We played one game, i sucked something awful, and we left.

Now it's 10 p.m....and old-lady, pumpkin-turning time is almost here. i need to break out of that stupid habit quick.

p.s. i hope people read this because it took a lot of effort to write this story, even if it is a pathetic story...in which case, read my jornal title. that warned you.

The lovely Galloway, Ohio

avoidthenastyones — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 04:09:00 GMT

Well, 3 days till i get to China. i am tremendous amounts of nervous, loads of excited/stoked, a little doubtful, a tad apprehensive... ready to say auf wiedersehen to the fam.

in case you were wondering, i will be teaching english in china. God help me. i hate capitalizing "i",because i don't consider myself proper/important enough... my poor english knowledge and their poor learning souls... : /