Positive Self-FULL-ness

You're Doing What?! HOW?!

alisamv104 — Mon, 13 Mar 2017 12:25:00 GMT

"You're doing what?! How?! That's awesome." Most common reaction to my life right now.

I knew that some heads would turn when I was recruited from my relatively “safe” state government affairs job for a riskier environment at a startup healthcare technology company. More would turn when I applied to grad school and quit that startup job in December. Eyebrows would raise when I told people that after spending time with family I planned to travel until starting graduate school in the fall. I've seen a mixture of reactions but most can be bundled into the following:

1) “OMG That's amazing! Good for you! How exciting! I trust you’re doing what’s right for you, and I support this.”

2) “Whoa! What? How? Why? I'm curious.”

3) “That's irresponsible and frivolous. Why are you wasting valuable time and money when you could continue climbing up and save for your future?” Or they reacted with jealousy in a negative way.

Luckily 98% of my closest family, friends, and mentors have been nothing but supportive and positively curious. And those who fall under #3 are clearly not meant to play a big role in my life... However, the decision had to be mine alone. I currently don't have many deal-breaking obligations -- I don't have a mortgage, spouse or children, student loans (until I start grad school!). The time is NOW. After seriously reflecting for quite awhile and considering my life, passions, goals, and regrets, I finally made some very difficult decisions in the fall of 2016, and I am the happiest I have been in a very long time if not ever.

So here's how I do it, since the world begs to know.

PRIORITIES

When we set our budgets we prioritize where we want to spend and save. I caught the bug at a young age and knew that's what I wanted to spend my money on -- experiences, not materials. It's a mindset. For me it's not going away. Ever.

I have always, always, always been a saver -- ask my parents! I was the first kid in third grade to save enough rewards sticks to take the teacher to dinner, requiring the highest # of sticks on the rewards chart. I was upset that I had to wait what seemed like forever for another student to save up enough to join because they kept spending them at the school store on gel pens and Lisa Frank stickers. So, saving has been in my blood since birth it seems.

In middle/high school, I was saving from my jobs and babysitting for travel. At 12 years old, I fundraised, wrote letters to family, friends, and businesses. I saved my money, sold raffle baskets, was sponsored by local institutions to pay to travel. I convinced my parents that I was determined to go to Australia summer before 8th grade… and later to Europe for three weeks in 10th grade, to China after freshman year of college, and to study abroad in France during my junior year. I went on family road trips across the USA and on medical trips in Central America growing up, but these experiences were all just me and a group of people I didn't know yet or solo.

PRACTICALITIES

Always pay bills first. ALWAYS. Then spend the remainder. During college, I started depositing a percentage of my budget into a separate savings account specifically for "vacation/travel" purposes. I automatically deducted that percentage each paycheck directly into my travel account so I never missed it in my real savings or checking accounts. I operated my life as if that money was not touchable. And essentially it wasn’t. I put almost 75% of my first two years worth of "travel savings" into a 24-month CD so I would face a penalty for removing it. This was intentional. I took the following two years' worth of savings and put it into an 18-mo. CD then purchased shares in my favorite companies, which luckily saw a value increase of those shares over the years. (Thanks for teaching and getting me started, Grandpa!) Furthermore, I opened a credit card that earned 3 points for all travel expenses and 2 points for almost everything else that a young adult likely spends money on - entertainment, coffee and restaurants, gas, groceries, etc.

SPENDING WISELY

I do realize I am very fortunate to not have to pay student loans from undergraduate school. And no, my parents do not pay for a single bill and haven't since before I graduated in 2013, thank you. I've worked since I was legally allowed to including summers and during the school year and have been on the rise since breaking out into the real world.

I'm not wealthy. I do have bills to pay, and yes, I do live a big-city single girl life. It's about spending and prioritizing what I spend money on. I'm a innately rule follower; I don't budge on my budget. At my first full-time job post-grad I earned $32.5k/year, as was standard and determined by law for me and my peers working for state government in that role. I lived in an apartment with a longer commute in a safe but not ideal part of the city. It was nice but nothing luxury, and it was worth it to me since I wanted to spend money on travel (in Columbus and beyond) and not on my apartment. I was determined to make my city worth exploring and view it as an adventure in my own backyard.

About two years later, I finally felt that I kind of had this adulting thing at a balanced place and had a solid budget figured out. I reevaluated my life after a series of personal events, and I was reminded (or strongly urged) by a few close friends that personal travel was a great healing and learning method for me, and I needed it. Desperately. I accepted a promotion that I ended up disliking almost immediately and moved to another part of the city, but I was still unfulfilled (note: I didn't say unhappy. Though an argument could be made that I was not living to my fullest potential.) I was comfortable. Too comfortable. Something was still missing. I was not truly living.

I needed to change. I got rid of cable, switched to a slower bandwidth for internet, turned my thermostat down 3-5 degrees and wore blankets/dressed appropriately/opened windows depending on the weather. I bought all of my furniture at garage sales and Hobby Lobby/IKEA or made it myself. Most of my artwork in my apartment is photography or maps that I've collected from my trips. I go to the library instead of buying books. I listen to podcasts, Pandora, Spotify and the radio instead of buying music. I even fixed my car's basic repairs by myself after watching videos and having a friend (and the wonderful guys at Advanced Auto Parts) confirm I did everything correctly. I use the free CBUS Commuter bus for downtown area travel in Columbus and rode my bike before it was stolen (they probably needed it more than me). I don't pay for a gym membership since my new apartment already has one, and I found a group fitness studio near my office with reasonable prices or I workout at home with BeachBody On Demand. I stopped splurging for amazing seats for all of my cultural arts affairs in favor of finding out when they had special events, free days, or I simply walk in last-minute and ask for cheap seats and smile. These aren't drastic changes -- just a simpler lifestyle. I became less stressed at home as well.

I DO spend money on good, comfortable shoes, outerwear, and wine. I also like to try new breweries and restaurants with my friends when I am home in Ohio -- BUT I skip the apps and dessert and order tap water. I try to cook as much as possible and say no to that latte in favor of making my own or doing walking meetings when possible. It's also helped me to become healthier!

Every decision I make I think about the financial, practical/logistical, and overall goals I set for myself and balance those with my mental health and passions in life. There are ways to save every day making life more practical, less stressful, and overall more fulfilling.

DESTINATION DECISIONS

Think about HOW you travel, the value of the US Dollar, and your destination of choice. For example, it was significantly less expensive to spend a week traveling and exploring the beaches and rainforest in Costa Rica than it was to spend a week in the heart of the spectacularly lovely city of Paris.

When I book flights, I consider convenience vs cost. I often use Momondo, Skyscanner, Hopper, and Hitlist (an app) to browse nearby airports with flights departing or arriving near my destination or home. I also receive cheap flight alerts from my favorite airlines! For example, I live in Columbus, Ohio with several cities’ airports within two hours driving. My parents live in West Virginia with close proximity and a hopper flight from the municipal airport to Pittsburgh and Washington D.C. It saved me about $400 to drive the 3.5hrs to see my family, get on the 6-seater airplane to D.C. and fly nonstop to San Jose, Costa Rica than it would have been if I departed from CMH with 1-2 layovers and pay more. Plus my mom loved seeing me for a day. I also ran into a friend in D.C. at my gate who happened to be on the same return flight home!

While traveling, public transit is often cheapest and surprisingly easy in many places. Uber and taxis add up quickly anywhere, but especially in Europe and U.S. major cities. I walk everywhere whenever possible. This is great for my health and my wallet. Many places now have rentable bikes that you can use throughout the day, too. Totally worth it! Greyhound bus, MegaBus, Amtrak are other seriously good considerations.

WHAT KIND OF TRAVEL

Consider your needs vs wants vs could live withouts.

I love using Hotwire for last-minute savings on great hotels! My favorite was in Montreal when I booked a few hours before I planned to arrive and landed a quirky boutique hotel regularly around $250/night that I paid $45/night!! You don’t know what specific hotel you’ll get until you pay, but I’ve had all excellent experiences so far. (Thanks to my mom for introducing this to me!)

Hostels are also quite common outside of the USA for solo or young travelers. They often have kitchens, laundry, food options right there and are a great way to meet other travelers. Camping in the USA is a fabulously inexpensive and relaxing option! Many have water and electricity access with communal bathrooms and showers available nearby, and you can even rent equipment online if you don’t own any. You could give couchsurfing a shot, too, if you're open to it!

Cruises are excellent for solo vacations (notice I said vacation, not travel. It’s not the same.) I find that cruises are about the experiences on board or excursion trips and less about the ports of call in many circumstances. Many cruise lines have major discounts as dates get closer and often have single-accommodation options. Plus, you'll never have to worry about where to find food, drinks, or entertainment! It was a brilliant last-minute decision to go to Key West + Cozumel, Mexico in December for 5 nights solo. I met people everywhere and relaxed toute-seule when I wanted to.

On many of my travels, I choose locations where I know people or have third party intros. I have stayed on couches, floors, and guest rooms on many of these visits, and it saves quite a bit just on accommodation. Plus, you have a local to tell you his/her favorite places to visit, see, eat, and perhaps even join you! Like my friends Lucas and Michael in Colorado.

GROUP TRAVEL VS SOLO TRAVEL

Group travel has many benefits, especially for newcomers to the idea of solo travel. It can be a little intimidating, but hands-down worth it. You’ll save on transportation and accommodation costs, and it lessens the planning time and stress levels to have a guide and your itinerary relatively mapped out. I went to Costa Rica with Under30Experiences and am booked to go to Morocco with Intrepid Travel, both sharing a room with another single female and using public or joint transportation to cut down on costs. Both groups have small sizes around 10-15 people mostly young/mid-life professionals. Amazing!! My U30X trip to Costa Rica was the launch pad for what is becoming my favorite travel year. I am so grateful for that experience and the people I met. I continue to keep in touch and share with U30X alumni, even meeting two during my spontaneous trips who I had previously only interacted with virtually!

Solo travel allows more flexibility for going anywhere at the drop of a hat. It forces you to get out of your comfort box (more than a zone) to meet and interact with locals. You realize how much you have in common with people if only you quiet the voices in your head causing fear and worry. I never would have met Camille who sat next to me at a restaurant in Quebec, talked for 3hrs in French or be invited to see a local band if I had a fellow English-speaking travel companion. The freedom to pick up and climb a new hiking trail or randomly wander around town and “get lost” only to find the most incredible hole-in-the-wall serving local craft beers is infectious!

EMBRACING THE FEAR

Traveling solo and semi-solo with a group of new friends has been incredible. I have met and talked with interesting people every single day and that has helped with the fear that a lot of people experience about being lonely. Like my dancing bartender in Jaco, Costa Rica, the Texan Harley bikers while hiking at Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, and Nina who commented on a U30X post asking for recommendations to spontaneously go to Canada in winter. People really are friendlier than you'd expect if we allow ourselves to be open to seeing it. I find that even if I'm not directly interacting with people, I still enjoy people-watching at a local cafe for a brief pause in my adventures.

So far since my epic decision, I spent 6 weeks with my aunt in Florida during her surgeries to remove an absolutely insane cancer. I took a last-minute cruise solo to Key West and Cozumel, Mexico for 5 nights and took a spontaneous trip to Canada via train for 12 days with 36hrs notice (Quebec, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, and Niagara Falls). I drove to Milwaukee, Wisconsin (twice), saw Maroon 5 in front row seats after a friend scored them last-minute, stopped in Chicago, Cincinnati, and Dayton to see friends. I visited a graduate school in Denver, Colorado with excursions in Golden, Boulder, Aurora, and Colorado Springs and saw two APO friends from college plus a cousin. I booked my dream trip to Morocco for three weeks (probably to add Paris, Lisbon, Barcelona, and Madrid before/after), and I am planning tentative trips to see more of the USA's National Parks this summer and perhaps a trip to Eastern Europe or Southeast Asia before moving for grad school this fall.

This is a series of the best decisions I have ever made, and I am proud of myself for making them and for allowing myself to take this time to travel. I have no regrets!

Photos: Big World, Young Heart

alisamv104 — Sun, 12 Mar 2017 20:36:00 GMT

Québec, Une Ville Magnifique

alisamv104 — Wed, 8 Feb 2017 20:00:00 GMT

Au Canada! I cannot believe that I have never visited your beauty before this trip despite living so close to your border!

After doing some research and wanting to travel to Canada for awhile, 2017 is the perfect year to visit. Lonely Planet named Canada one of their top picks for 2017 and from what I can tell it's a big celebratory year for Canada itself (150th birthday! as well as Montréal (375th birthday!!!). Plus most cities are celebrating winter festivals in early February! So on Friday evening when I saw a flight notification appear for over $700 cheaper than normal prices (and a solid $800 less expensive than any of the other flights on the same day with the same airline) I booked a Sunday, February 5, 2017 10:30am flight from Columbus to Québec City via Newark!!

My flight was pretty smooth, though we did circle for awhile due to the snow storm that had come through and visibility was low. **Though my Uber driver who picked me up said that AirCanada pilots don't have this problem since they're used to the weather.** I was giddy when I saw the snow once we landed! The airport has wifi and an ATM at YQB airport, so it was very easy to get some Canadian dollars and request an Uber driver. He spoke both English and French.

I usually check out Hotwire, AirBnB and Google for accommodations, and this time Hotwire was the winner for best deal. I stayed at the Best Western PLUS in Centre-Ville, which is in the St. Roch area of Québec. I usually prefer something a little more local, but truthfully this was perfect. It's walking distance to everything: 15-20min to Vieux Quebec/Old Québec, right in the center of town, directly in the St. Roch neighborhood known for local delicious restaurants and breweries. Plus the concierge was able to whip out a map and share some of her personal favorites with me.

SUNDAY evening I set out just to explore the city since it had snowed a good foot that day, and my wanderlust was in high gear! I walked from my hotel toward Vieux Québec, stopping at the St. Louis Gate/Porte St. Louis, where a picturesque ice skating rink and beautiful lights immediately made me swoon. A couple of American guys from Maine asked me to take their photo, and Aaron gave me his Carnaval de Quebec effigy, which is $15CAN and required for entering some parts of the winter festival. Important to note is that the battery life on an iphone is crazy when the cold takes over. At first it said I had a fully charged battery and the next minute said I had 6% left, which was not true. Nonetheless, I decided to just walk throughout Old Quebec at night taking in the sights without photographing it, just smiling :) It was Poutine Week in Québec so I had to get poutine. Of course! I forgot that it was Super Bowl Sunday and for some reason didn't expect places to be so crowded, but I ended up at Pub du Purvais near my hotel and sat at the bar. It's a cozy local pub with local beers and decent food. I had a great time chatting with Antoine, my bartender, Alexandre and Sylvain, who sat next to me at the bar. Sylvain was particularly enamored by me since he lived in Arizona for 8 years and was friendly and excited to talk with an American but maybe a bit too excited... I had to shut him down. Also he was pushing 40 probably sooooo no thank you.

MONDAY morning I was full of excitement! I dressed with some insane layers and set out for the day in the -13C degree weather with a windchill making it feel like -13F instead! I went to the local cafe next to the hotel, ordered a chocolat chaud et pain au chocolat aux noisettes and read the local newspaper, which dedicated a significant chunk to world news including a 3-page spread on Donald Trump's latest actions. Then, I walked up a massive snow-covered hill (on the sidewalk) to Vieux Québec. I walked for a good 2hrs before seriously needing some warmth, so I took a 40min tour of l'Assemblée Nationale du Québec, where I totally nerded out and ended up watching a press conference with some of hte heads of the Quebec Province government. I could write an entire post simply on the fascinating aspects of the Canadian and Québec governments, but I'll save that. Next, I wandered through some of the Carnaval de Quebec to see the international award winners for snow sculpting, saw the Fairmont - Le Chateau Frontenac before aimlessly wandering around. I came to a massive space with a bunch of people jogging, cross-country skiing, and walking. The Plains of Abraham is one of the largest urban parks in the entire continent of North America, and it was gorgeous!! Despite the incredible wind, I walked along the Promenade des Gouvernors, whcih the city dedicated to the people. After taking a brief nap since walking for 9 miles in snow and wind up major hills is exhausting, I headed back out into the cold to le Pétit Quartier at the base of the city below Vieux Québec. It is absolutely picturesque with the winter decorations, lights, ice sculptures, and store fronts that look straight from old European charm. Monday night I ate at Poutineville, because well it is known for its poutine and it was the last day of Poutine Week! Another delicious local beer - Le Cheval Blanc

TUESDAY was amazing! I went to le Carnaval de Québec (the winter festival). I got the snow maple taffy, which they literally pour a line onto a slab of snow and ice and you take a popsicle stick and roll it up after about 3sec and eat it. DELICIOUS! I also ate a beavertail, which had been suggested to me though I had no idea what it was. I was skeptical, but it's essentially a dessert like a long pastry fried dough with delicious toppings - I had nutella and banana of course, with a side of Caribou, which is the must-have drink of the festival and is sa weet Québécois alcoholic beverage composed of red wine, hard liquor (usually whisky), and maple syrup or sugar which I drank warm. It's small but packs quite a punch! Bonhomme is the mascot for the festival, and I toured his ice palace, complete with paintings and artwork along with ice sculptures and carvings in the walls of the palace. There was massive bowling with people inside or pushing the "ball" at the massive pin, kids playing games, sledding, axe throwing at a target, swingsets made of snowboards, and a bunch of games and hockey. Later, I went back to Le Petit Quartier to see it in the daylight and walked into some of the stores. I also had a local beer - Boreale, which is defintely becoming my favorite local beer brand. I walked to the edge near the river at the port, saw the cannons outside the walled fortress that is Quebec. The Observatoire de Quebec is absolutely amazing! Located on the 31st floor, there are some great facts and lessons about Quebec on the walls and incredible views on all four sides for a 360 degree view of Québec City. Fabulous! Tuesday I decided to treat myself to a delicious French meal at Le Cloche, down the street in St. Roch area. I sat at the bar at one of the only open seats, and a local woman about my age was in the chair next to me. After an awkward few minutes of us not really acknowleding each other more than a smile, she asked me if I had the time. I did, of course because I always wear a watch, and I took that opportunity to strike up a conversation in French. It was amazing!!!! I wish I had done that earlier. We talked for almost three hours in French, and Camille was great! We had good chats about culture, our lives, work, how things are done in Quebec vs France vs USA, and we're now friends on Facebook. I'm so glad I mustered up the courage to talk with her and not to be too discouraged by my French, which was actually a lot better than I gave myself credit for beforehand!!! I did have a humorous interaction with one of the guests who tried to sit next to me while Camille was out for a smoke, but the owner whom I had briefly interacted with earlier came over and told that man to leave and that he was not welcome to disturb me. :) Fabulous. The weather forecast predicted a good 8-15 inches of snow Tuesday night, so I was absolutely giddy after walking out of hte restaurant!!! There was already a good 4 inches of fresh powdery snow on the ground! Camille had invited me to "le spectaclar" at the bar down the street but by 10:30pm I was exhausted from the day so I politely declined. I kinda wish I had gone but I was unsure of how to excuse myself if I didn't like it and was truthfully about to fall asleep. So snow it was!

Wednesday, 2/8/17, I decided to go ahead and book my train ticket for Montréal for the early evening (5:45pm departure) for the 3hr train. I wandered around the city in the snow almost up to my hips from the night before, made a snow angel, slid down some hills for fun, played in the snow for a bit in a park after checking out and storing my luggage at the hotel. I came across the Morrin Centre, which is an English library in an old prison. It's beautiful! I also took a ferry across the St. Lawrence River to the other side (round-trip only cost $7CAN!) and had some magnificent views of Québec and Le Frontenac from the frozen river. The ice was also pretty incredible!!! I LOVE that the people use sleds to bring their children all over the place - suhc a good idea! And adorable. After eating a fabulous crepe and bowl of hot cocoa (yes, bowl, not a cup) in Vieux Québec, I casually walked back toward St. Roch past the VIA Rail Station (Le Gare de Palais).

C'est tout a Québec ! C'est une ville magnifique !

Some thoughts about La Ville Capitale --

The people are genuinely some of the most friendly that I have ever met. As winter sees an influx of anglophones for winter festivals and over 1/3 of the people speak both French and English, they are most happy to speak with you in either language. According to a few people I talked with and a stat I saw at a museum, only 2% of Québécois are anglophones. Most people speak French as their primary and English next, though some people said their schools taught both at the same time in primary school. All of the signs have French first then English below, but it is an incredibly easy city to navigate if you don't know any French at all. The people really appreciate when you attempt if you do know some French though, so I did even though it had been 5 years since I last truly used my language skills and boy was it worth it!! The further west into English-speaking land the two languages will flip (such as in Toronto). The people use public transit like nobody's business but also walk everywhere.

One can distinguish between the province and the capital city by the use of "e" vs "é" as in the province = no accent and the city has one. There is, by law, only one official version of each city, so in both Canadian English and French the accent is present when properly identifying the cities (Québec, Montréal, etc.) though obviously we recognize where one is referring in colloquial terms.

There are many one-way streets, and the people are unafraid to drive right up those steep snow covered hilly streets so beware and pay attention! They'll stop for pedestrians crossing even not on sidewalks in some parts of town, but I noticed they don't particularly care about crosswalks or intersection pedestrian signs except at the major streets. :) So just walk if there are no cars coming.