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The Adventures of Lucy the Chicken

UNITED ARAB EMIRATES | Tuesday, 4 October 2011 | Views [572] | Comments [1]

I have some lovely real friends, and twitter friends, who write wicked blogs about cooking, or attempting to cook. They work either under dire location circumstances, or under dire lack of success but full of motivation circumstances (lookin’ at you Anna). Whichever way you look at it, food posts are always fun, and I thought it would be a neat follow up to show you exactly what my Omi taught me, from my blog post about returning home to Sydney. When I went to fetch groceries, I grabbed a whole chicken. It was not because I particularly wanted chicken, but because I knew I could force my Omi to teach me how to cook it, and it would be perfect. Thus, Omar the Chicken had his adventures and the whole experience was a success.

Fast forward two months, and we welcome Lucy the Chicken to our home, to share her adventures. Lucy had a lovely oil bath in a particularly lovely glass bowl.

Then it was time for a good smattering of rosemary and a bit more of a massage.

We all know garlic and rosemary are fab friends, so garlic joined the party too. If you want to peel your garlic super-quick, go here, otherwise, just do it the old and slow way. It’s kinda therapeutic. Chopped up into the chunks, the garlic was going on an adventure of its own…

All I could think about in this next step was Andrew’s new favourite term, lady bacon. So, you need to grab Lucy the Chicken at the lady bacon end, and pull the skin away from the flesh, so you can shove your garlic all up in there. Graphic, I know, but now you’ll remember when you’re doing your own garlic-shoving into a chicken’s lady parts. By the end of it, Lucy will look a bit like she’s starting to develop signs of an STI.
Boy, Andrew’s having a bad influence on me these days.

Once you’ve finished assaulting Lucy the Chicken, grab one of these babies.

Throw in a couple of tablespoons of flour (or wheat-free alternative) and a good smattering of “meat spice” for the salt factor. My Omi used chicken stock, but I recently ran out.

Shake your booty for a moment.
Lucy the Chicken loves the entertainment.
Shake the bag too.

Then, gently caress Lucy INTO the bag, where her oily bits become at one with the floury bits of the bag. It looks pretty darn messy really, but trust me, it works. Throw in a handful of onion, to keep her company.

Seal up your baggy, and in the words of @Quirky75, get stabby, punching 5-6 holes in the top to avoid chicken-splosion.

Next, adventure into the dodgy-as Dubai stove at around 170 degrees celcius…

The cat will wait anxiously…

And voila! Lucy the Chicken completes her adventures and Andrew is happy that he married a woman who can cook.

Tags: dubai, food, omi

Comments

1

FAN. TASTIC. ...made me laugh. I can also confirm, it tasted as good as it looks!

  AWBiggs Oct 4, 2011 4:59 AM

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