Shitscared and headfirst into Chaos

Chubby Chicken Ahoy!!

incarna — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 03:24:00 GMT

Well it's come to the sad end of my campaign across the face of the Earth. Currently i am in Hawaii an will be returning home in a little over 2 days.

So what have i got to say about Hawaii? Well people are really quite overweight here and food portions are so grossly oversized that i am glad i am going home. Hawaii is nice in a kitschy "i feel like i'm in a timewarp" kind of way. It looks like the photo's. A country of loud shirts, boiling sun and people with greasy fistfuls of food being shoveled towards they're gaping maws. We made the mistake of going to Pizza Hut all you can eat on our last day in Kauai, and it was perhaps one of the worst mistakes i have ever made. I have never in my life seen a surging human mass, like pigs to the trough, devour so much food in so little time. It almost turned me off my food.

Vancouver land of the homeless and the hairy

incarna — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 17:29:00 GMT

Hi everyone, it's been quite some time since i last wrote anything here as it's been hectic.

We went to England as planned and surprise surprise it turned out to be a hell of a lot better than expected. London turned out to be a damn good city with heaps to do and see. Even if the sky loomed above us constantly threatening rain it was great. Pleasant news was that all the major galleries and Museums are free and if anything has to be seen it's the British Museum. This place is so full of stolen booty from other countries and empires of antiquity it's just awesome. All praise those empire building poms!!!!!

We stayed with Juanita and spent most of our time trawling the sights and shops, the worst case of me frothing at the mouth for purchases in a while. I stumbled across an art store with the best sale on i have ever seen and almost swooned in desire at the assorted multitude of pencils, brushes, books and canvases, all crying out for me to hold them and comfort them in my grubby little fists. Oh for more baggage space and money, i would been overladen like a pack mule braying at the bit, my coat festooned with various articles of artistry and the sweat upon my brow smeared with the charcoal stains of over enthusiasm.

Sense came in the form of Eve saying things like "Do you really need that deliciously polished set of designer paints that are at a bargain price?" or "How many art books can you really carry around the world with you?" and unfortunately sense reigned me in that day after a brief tussle with a set of coloured sketching pencils and sketch book of exquisite quality paper.

Anyway after money was being leeched from me or falling through my hands like so much discarded sand we finally embarked upon our journey to the land of the twee. Thats right Ireland was our next destination and i can definately see where the legends of Leprachauns come from. THEY ARE BLOODY LEPRECHAUNS!!!! Small shifty eyed little buggers with not a pot of gold in sight. Dublin can best be described as a post industrial sqaut of a place, with minor amounts of charm atrtached to make it feel like a city rather than a conglomeration of assorted housing that popped up on the earth somewhat like a pimple. Don't get me wrong, there are things to see in Dublin, just not a lot, and it certainly doesn't feel Irish if you know what i mean. Anyway after 2 days there we embarked on a day trip to the pleasant region of Glendalough. If you only have time for one thing in Ireland this should perhaps be it. After coming to this ruined monastic settlement i can now see how the legends of faries popped up after the local monks must have gotten pickled on the communion wine and fallen asleep by the lakes under curly trees decorated with patches of moss and dewdrops. This place looks like it comes out of Brian Froud's book of Fairies. It's very green, very picturesque and most of all a far cry from what Dublin is not.

So after Ireland we headed back to the big sis. London part 2 was good as well and on one night i made the best honey soy chicken i think i have ever tasted. I just have to make sure i remember the recipe.

Several days later we said goodbye to Juanita and caught our plane to Vancouver, Canada, where we promptly arrived in the dingiest hostel we've stayed in so far and where Eve quickly got attacked by a psychopathic homeless person who was obviously a few beers short of a six pack if you get my drift. Of all the people it had to happen to it had to be Eve, it seems all her prepared bad luck of thinking the worst was going to happen finally paid off. So after a brief tussle in which not one fucking dumb Canadian helped, i was called off by Eve to stop me from beating the shit out of this derelict and having the cops called on me after so quickly arriving in Canada. Yes that wouldn't have looked good, i can see it now... "So let me get this straight, you arrived in Vancouver half an hour ago and proceeded to beat a homeless person unconscious with his own arm that you had torn from his own body?" Yes that would have gone down a treat with the 'authorities' of this country.

Anyway so far i can see that Canada is a beautiful country minus the people, who seem to all look like homeless vagrants, but the weather hasn't been with me to SEE Canada. It has been raining non stop since we arrived and has only just let up today...FINALLY!!!

Athens another name for kick in the arse

incarna — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 07:59:00 GMT

Well today we are off, and all i can say is i won't be coming back to Athens in this lifetime if i can help it. So far i have seen quite a few cities of the world and i believe that i am now quallified enough to say that Athens is probably one of the ugliest stinky crapholes anywhere in the world. Here dodginess is an artform proscribed to by shop owners and vagrants alike. For instance as i sit here, Eve went off to by a can of coke while she sat on the internet, so because she chose to sit here and drink it (whilst on the net and paying for it) IT WOULD COST 2 EURO!!! Now if she had decided to leave it would cost 1 euro. So we are talking about a 100% increase in price here. Bullshit is the only word i can use though my mind is overflowing with profanities.

Anyway in this squallid little arse end of the universe there are actually quite surprisingly a few things worth seeing. One of these being Meteora, which i used in the title of my last blog but forgot to write about. Meteora is actually unlike any other region in Greece and if you want to to just one place in mainland Greece this should be it. If you can arrange a flight bypassing Athens even better. Yes i know the Acropolis and all that other stuff is in Athens but seriously it's a lot to put up with just for that. If you have to do Athens try and make it a one day trip, you can seriously see everything this dirt brown pit of squallor has in that time.

Anyway back to Meteora. The hills here look like moulded clay and wind fluted crevasses. There are actually trees in this region that relieves the somewhat boring impression of parched landscape everywhere else. Kalambaka is the town that lies at the end of the train line from Athens. It only cost 10.90 Euro to get here so you should give it a try as thats pretty damn cheap and it really is worth it. A common mistake of a lot of people here is to sign up with a tour in Athens and go, don't do it. It's far cheaper to go there and see all the monastaries on the mountains at your own leisure. We got up late on our final day that we had decided to do the monasteries, so we go a taxi up to the Meteora Transfiguration Monastery, which is the highest one up there and hangs off a cliff with all the buildings built into the rock. If we had got a bus up there it would have cost 1 euro but with a taxi it was 6. Ayway it's still worth it, now the key here is to not be a lazy tourist and coach it to all the cathedrals, they are not far apart and it is a really pleasant downhill walk from Meteora all the way back to Kalambaka. It takes bugger all time and the view itself is worth it, plenty of great photo opportunities (which we took advantage off but i have failed to bring lol). Anyway i could wax lyrical about this region littering my blog with excessively flowery prose for quite some time, but i'm not going to do that. To sum it all up don't be a lazy bastard, go there and walk, god knows most fat tourists could do with a bit of bloody exercise.

Meteora, not just a Linkin Park Album

incarna — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 08:52:00 GMT

Once again it's been a long time since i have written on this blog. I've been getting around Greece a bit and it's been pretty good on the whole. After Santorini we went to Crete, and the only way i can describe the place is Godforsaken Hellhole. Weeeell i suppose it's not that bad, just as boring as bat shit, with Poms coming out of the seams. If you were to have a car it could be an okay place, but without one, well you would have more fun basting yourself like a turkey and sitting in an oven. I felt pretty cantankerous when we hit there though, as the symptoms of dodgy greece started to pop up like unchecked weeds as soon as we arrived. For instance, example 1.... 30 mins after getting a taxi that we had booked to Koutaloufari, the price we booked was 32 euro, we found out upon arriving that it should have cost 22. Example 2... we hop out of said taxi and proceed to checkin.... " oho sorry we have booked out your room, but if you pay the same price we will take you a dodgy place up the road overflowing with loud pom backpackers where you can lie down but not really sleep. Tommorow we will pick you up and take you to your real place. Have fun while we shaft you and give you no other option at 11 o'clock at night. Pleasant dreams in Crete." If there is one thing i can't stand in the world it's bloody double booking. There shoould be a clause in every client contract, the client upon said event, should be allowed to use the offending receptionists head like a punching bag. The world would be a much better place. The client would have vented their frustration, and the receptionist would have learnt the valuable lesson of never trying to pull that shit again.

Anyway i could give pages of dodgy greek events, like floating prices, unlisted prices, hidden charges and all other symptoms of the European community, but frankly i'm over it. They can all suck my balls... sorry for that lewd colloquialism, but i believe that Australia should join in the game and create a special tax called "The Dodgy Tourist Tax Reform: where we gouge members of the international community for all they are worth with no remorse." For gods sake, i'm in the land of Feta cheese and Olives, and i have to pay more here than i do back home, are you shitting me? Other items and expenses i can understand, but thats insane, considering that there is an over abundance of the stuff. The equivalent in Austalia would be to charge people $6 for a small lamington and $10 for half a vegemite sandwichand to make sure that these are the only things you have in your stores. C'mon Australia, get in the game!!! Admittedly though Greece can be pretty cheap, eating out is very nice if you can handle eating a lot of oil. Fortunately i can, but it does get to you. If you like low fat rabbit food, there won't be a lot of love for you in Greece.

Anyway people, i now have a confirmed date of return. I am no longer going to work in Engalnd as it was turning out to be a bit of a pain in the bottom. So after seeing the big Sista i'll be heading over to Ireland for a couple of days and then to Scotland. After back to Juannie and then a full charge across time zones to Canada. Yay!!!!!! 10 days or so there then down to Hawaii to peer at volcanoes and surf. After 2 weeks there i'll be heading back to Oz and hitting Sydney on Nov 15th. I'll probably sleep for about a week and then flyup to see mum and dad, so Gav keep an eye out. I should be irritating the crap out of you sometime soon, knocking on you door, or yelling down your phone line like the unreasoning lout i can be.

Santorini, The worlds most dissapointing Volcano and other Greek Adventures

incarna — Fri, 7 Sep 2007 14:43:00 GMT

Well all's good. The trip to Greece has so far been pretty damn good. It's hotter here than Spain but well being right on the beach on an island certainly makes up for it. The water on these black beaches is superb, no surf for wave nazis though.lol. We arrived in Athens on the 30th and man talk about a sweltering shit fight. It was cool to see the Acrolpolis and all the other tourist stuff, you know as the tourists say "The Cradle of Democracy(TM)". Anyway aside from that there really isn't any other reason to go to Athens, it was cool and differnet, but it really is just high density housing with a bunch of ancient ruins peppering the landscape. On the other hand going to Santorini is perhaps the best decision we ever made, i recomend most people to come here, at first it looks like a big desert island and whilst this is true it has it's own particular charm.

Today we did a full tourist run and grabbed ferry tour out to the Volcano and over to Thirrasis, we also managed to hop in and swim in the supposed hot springs. It cost 25 euro but well it wasn't to bad for a whole day, so a bit of tourist fun wasn't so bad. As i said before we are staying on Perivilos beach which is good, the beach is 3 minutes walk from our door, our apartment is cool (except salty water) and thank the lord there aren't many tourists.

Barcelona the land of sweat and Beaches made out of Dirt

incarna — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 17:04:00 GMT

W00t!!!! We finally went to Barcelona and if there is a place that is the complete oposite of Switzerland this is surely it. Everything is brown here, the people the buildings the dirt and the sky ( except for when it becomes eyesearingly bright like Australia). So far it´s all been good, a definate welcome change and no pick pocket problems or any other silly crap like that. I have come to the firm conclusion that the worst thing about going over seas and backpacking is running into Australians. Seriously they are the biggest noisiest uninformed wankers on the face of the earth. Well not all of them but certainly the one´s i´ve come across, i´m looking at you doped up bull running party boy moron. Oh there´s more than one of you you say.... yeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss. Oh and there´s the "i´m so chilled out, sophisticated, mung bean consuming, new age, crystal waver, hippie, tosser girl" who sprouts kids like she´s weilding baseball bats filled with the unremitting screams of demon children that she has spawned from trolling about the earth. " It´s all so ZEN man!!!"

I´ve had my whinges but so far it´s really been pretty damn good, and i never thought i´d welcome the searing heat of a desert landscape like in Spain. Yes Tristan i´ve been a bloody whingy bastard, but you sometimes, yah just gotta let it all hang out. Balls and all...hahahahahaha, oh thats going to go down well with mum and Juanita.lol. Anyway things have been good, but there´s still the small problem of jumping out of the frying pan of Spain into the raging inferno of Greece. Yes i am aware of the fires there, but i´m pretty sure they won´t be affecting us in anyway, hell i don´t think Santorini even has any trees to burn.

So anyway to give a plot outline of whats happening over the next couple of episodes of "Eve and Shean´s Insane Vacation", we are heading to Frankfurt (Germany) tommorow, then the next day off to Athens (Greece) for 4 days, until we hop abord a ferry, and boat our way to Santorini (Greece) where we shall plonk our arses down in the sand and swim and lol about in the sun like freshly beached porpoises. After that we are off to England to visit the "BIG SISTA!!!" (TM)

The Toblerone at the top of the World

incarna — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 14:50:00 GMT

Well it's coming to the point that we have to say goodbye to Switzerland. I have mixed feelings about it so far as the weather has been on the majorly sucky side for a large portion of the trip. 2 days ago we left Zermatt, which was a beautiful mountainy place (more mountains i hear you say). We just never seem to learn, either that or we love sitting in damp cold tents. Yet unknown to most people the idea of camping in the rain and cold has not been my idea, but Eve's. She seems hell bent on getting us sick and doing everything the hard way, but finally out of the tent we have come, and hopefully will not be returning to it for at least another month if not again soon. Anyway as i was saying, Switzerland has been cool, literally, we went up 3884 m the other to the Glacier paradise the other day and the temp was -3c. Yes pretty darn cold, but the temp at night where we were camping seemed to average a nice warm 7c every night.

So anyway it turns out that we are going to Barcelona tommorow (ar Barsa!! as a bunch of rednecks we bumped into were calling it). 5 days in BARSA!! and then we jump back to Frankfurt and fly to Greece...w00t!!!!

Switzerland... where the cookie crumbles

incarna — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 08:25:00 GMT

Haven't had the oportunity to write lateley and say where i am. So i arrived in Switzerland on the 3rd of August and traveled up into the mountains around Grindelwald. This is a place where the mountains don't gently roll to a point and look all friendly and walkable, no far from it. They look like broken teeth upthrust from the infected gums of the earth, impenatrable and forbidding. Or at least thats the case to a lazy bastard who doesn't like walking up hills in the first place.

The weather got onto us about 2-3 days into the trip, and it pretty much felt like it was a case of Switzerland saying "you thought you were going to have a fun entertaining time, but this is the way it's really going to be". The skies opened upon us with a fury of torrential rain, turning the ground to mush and dreams to nightmares. On the day that we quit the campsite, so did everyone else, thats how bad it was. We struugled the somewhat 500m down the road ,ladden like pack mules, seeking shelter in a hostel near the Grindelwald Grund train station, and then patiently let any excitement leach out of our minds as the weather slowly sapped any diminishing will to holiday out of our bodies.

Two days in Grindelwald Mountain Hostel and we had pretty much decided to hell with the place, and we took off down to the River Lodge in Interlaken Ost. Nice place, literally on the river, we are still here at the moment, but are currently camping again, we decided to face the uncaring elements again and so far they don't seem to be playing up to much, other than a spot of rain yesterday afternoon.

So far though, Switzerland seems to be the country that is going to break me. I have had damn well enough of dragging my arse across the world, and feeling guilty for buying the occaisional snickers bar because i can't damn wll afford it, because it ( the money) could be better spent on a train ride in Athens. This isn't a holiday it's a fucking accountans nightmare (dream come true).

As fast as Molasses

incarna — Thu, 2 Aug 2007 15:21:00 GMT

Well i finally have uploaded some photo's. It's taken some time and was definately hard as i just have so many damn photo's. At this point the count is around 5-6 thousand and counting, so you can imagine how difficult it is having to choose a select few. I have a lot of great photos to choose from but unfortunately just don't have the time to be going through them all. So mum i have finally put some pictures up but will have a lot more to show you when i get back home.

Anyway for the last 2 weeks Eve and i have been blobbing in Prague and it has been a great place to slow down, hahaha i have read 4 books since arriving here, and now i don't know what to do with them as i can't carry them around the world with me. Prague has been great but i am really looking forward to leaving the cities and heading into the mountains again. Tommorow morning we finally fly out for Switzerland, we changed our flight date for Greece finally and will be heading there on the 30th of August. The flight to Greece in many ways has been a difficult thing to come to grips with as it means we have to make our way to Frankfurt in Germany again because that is where the flight is from. Now considereing that Switzerland is right next door to Germany you would think that it would be easy and quite cheap to get there. This is not the case, we have discovered that it is easier and cheaper to fly to Barcelona and then onto Frankfurt than catch a train direct to Frankfurt. It's possibly the silliest thing i have ever seen... but what do you expect of Krauts eh? hahahahahahahah.

Anyway it looks like we will be diving into the den of thievery that is Barcelona, and many ways i have very mixed feelings about it. As much as i want to got to Spain it is a risky prospect because of the simple fact that it is major tourist season at the moment there and a lot of ppl will be looking to steal shit from ignorant foreigners. It sounds a little paranoid but i know Eve would be devastated if her camera's and hardrive were stolen and that is what i am worried about the most as she really is am easy target for a thief. In fact the both of us are, and we have gotten quiyte comfortable with being relatively safe on that front. Anyway, it's not a solid 100% plan, we'll see what happens.

Gallery: Norway

incarna — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 19:18:00 GMT

Czech it out

incarna — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 10:20:00 GMT

Gah Tristan what is it that everytime i let you use a piece of my hardware when i´m away it all goes to hell? I swear you have contracted Juanitas heavy handed disease.

Anyway hello everybody i´m finally in Prague. We departed Poland a bit over a day ago and the weather is absolutely boiling. My worst fears have been realised and i am pissed off. The weather in Europe at this time of zear is bloodz unbearable. It´s been hitting about 37 degrees each day and you can see Poles and Czechs melting everywhere. Meanwhile i´m strolling around doing my fountain impersonation, looking like i´m bloodz leaking water and flaming hell Cyech keyboards suck shit. I´s like trying to write left-handed, half blindfolded and with a pin in my arse. All the letters are around backwards, szmbols are spastic and i feel like i´m plazing some devious puzzle rather than trying to write an entry on this journal.

Prague so far is a nice city, and im frustrated that i just can´t manage to upload any photos on the net anywhere yet, its a nightmare.

Eve and i went and saw the new Harry Potter movie last, and it perfectly coincides with the fact that the new book is released today. So up she gets the next morning and strolls down the road and grabs the new book. I love it when things work out like that.

The Sizzler Effect

incarna — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 07:03:00 GMT

During this trip Eve's father put forward the notion of the sizzler effect. It isn't new age science in any way, in fact it revolves around the idea of eating so damn much that all you can do is shit, and the sight of food makes you feel like vomiting.

I am currently undergoing the sizzler effect, or maybe i should say i am coming out of the arse end of it, because i know mine was certainly sore in Warsaw. If i never see another potato dumpling again it won't bother me.

Any way the trip has been continuing at a brisk pace. We have been running across Poland as if we are on fire, seeing a lot of back alleys and garbage bins with brief stops in city centres and perhaps a 5 min stop of shopping here and there. I haven't been the most informative as to where we have actually gone so far so i'll give a bit of a list from the beggining.

We started Poland from Gdansk, met Eve's parents.

Continued on to Elk for a night stop on the way to Bieowviesza( i know that is spelt wrong but the keyboard doesn't have the right letters and i can hardly remember how to spell it anyway.

After that we raced across the countryside with a few culinary assaults on our stomachs and arrived in Warsaw. It was pretty cool even if i didn't see much.

Next stop was Eve's families home town , starts with a P, i'll get the spelling for that in a sec. A lot of relatives, what i saw of the place was nice though.

And that finally leads us to where i am now, Krakow. If there is one place you think you have to visit in Poland, there's a pretty high cahnce that Krakow will be that place. It's a relatively nice city, with a reasonably extensive old quarter, which is a bit of a tourist hell but worth seeing. Otherwise the rest of the city looks a bit like a rotting cabbage, dirty scraped up and roughly resembling some strange detritus left over from the Russian occupation. That sounds terrible, but is pretty accurate... don't let that put you off though, the old town alone is worth coming to see.

I haven't had much of a chance to look through stores at all let alone to see instruments unfortunately, as i really am missing playing guitar..hahaha a funny thing happened in Gdansk at the hostel we stayed at. One morning i went down to the lounge room and discovered there was a guitar there, after a brief tuning i started to twang around. Not long after a pom comes in sitting on the lounge having a ciggarette and acting studiously disinterested. The whole facade crumbled after about 4 minutes, disinterest fell away and he asked me if had come to Poland to tour and if i was playing at the festival that night. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! How wrong could you be.I almost felt sorry for dissapointing him and saying no, i was just a bum like him.

The truth is that there haven't been many musical instruments worthy of looking at since Tokyo, Japan does that to you. Although the other day i saw a bunch of Piano Accordion players in the town square in Krakow, and damn they were good, Russian dudes they were. They played all classical, 4 accordions playing off against each other it was like an orchestra/

Tommorow i'm off to the Tatra Mountains, should be cool, getting out of the city will be interesting anyway. Journeys leaving cities in the car with Eve's dad are always interesting.

Vibrating Sex

incarna — Sun, 8 Jul 2007 07:36:00 GMT

Strange title, but that is apparently the translation that the movie Dirty Dancing recieved when it arrived in Poland.

I've been here for a little over a week now, and so far it's pretty cool. To begin with it's a relief on the wallet, which is welcome after being shafted for so long in the western countries. In many ways this is the type of Europe that i wanted to see, not the clean and shiny false image of the germanic scandinavian countries. Though i love Stockholm and Norway, the sense of history in those countries ( real history) is virtually non existant, whereas the same cannot be said for Poland, which is a strange phenomena when you consider the fact that they were bombed to hell in WW2 and pretty much lost the vast majority of their historical and social references. Everyday seems to find some strange idiosyncracy in Poland that leaves me with a smile. After hearing Eve rag on her home country for so long i was expecting to go wandering in a bog filled by homeless derelicts and pidgeon ladies. This is not the case.

Funny things to mention though are Eve's fathers behaviour... hahaha talk about anxiety. I always forget that it's possible for someone to shift from laughter to bowel clenching nervousness and anger within a second. We went quickly (and i do mean quickly) to the markets in Warsaw yesterday, i managed to grab a couple of games, and then we were quickly rushed out to the park to see squirrels whether we wanted to or not hehehe, needless to say they were cute, arguments ensued and food was the solution. FOOD SAVES THE DAY!!!!

So anyway i think i'm getting the flu again and it's going to be pretty rough on me i think because i'm feeling vaguely dizzy all the time and my head is clogged. Tonight i'll probably write a lot more.

Sweden, the land of the Blonde

incarna — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:47:00 GMT

Sweden has been almost as Eve predicted, with the exception of Stockholm. A vast flat and boring green land. That is not to say that it isn't pretty, as it surely is. It's just that not a hell of a lot seems to be going on in Sweden except for, possibly, sauna's and big brested women.

Stockholm on the other hand is glorious, a pancake of old beautiful architecture spread across a whole herd of islands that look like they have just migrated from some fairy tale. This is definately the highlight i was hoping for (as travelling by whinger... er i mean car, for 7 days can be a little wearing). I feel as out of the 8.9 million population of Sweden perhaps 8.7 million of them live in Stockholm. it is suddenly POPULATED!!!! omg but i feel like i have been travelling on the frontier for the last couple of weeks, and this is a sorely needed break.

Norway has been glorious, you guys wait till you seem some of the photo's i've got. I've had all sorts of trials through Norway, from high prices, to incorrect roadsigns. A good example of this is a day in Loen when Eve was keen to hire a bike and head out to ride round a fjord to see a glacier. "It's okay, it's only a mere 24km, easy for us to do in a day". I frowned in consternation and then said " What the hell, why not. Balls to you Mark, we are off for a jolly good ride." Well that bit isn't quite exact but you get the drift.

So anyway it seems like 24 km (there and back) to the Norwegians actually means 40km, a lot of it uphill. My arse was SORE!!! i mean the devil must have designed the bike seat i was on, because only lawyers and used car salesmen deserve that type of pain.

The one consolation was that the scenery was perfect, and the ride really was fun, though we did bump into mark near the glacier.

The parting of the ways

incarna — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 13:20:00 GMT

Hello everybody. I've just been subject to a massive computer crash that just wiped the message i had been typing for the last half an hour.

Well today is finally a glorious day after my giant whinge of the last post. Why you may ask? Well for one, the trials and tribulations of Mark are now over as far as we are concerned, that whole sorry chapter is finally finished, though it didnt really have a happy ending, it was almost as if the authour ran out of ideas.

Finally as of yesterday we are free of the shackles of Mark, and it feels almost like some sort of spiritual purging, or perhaps voiding of the bowels. I dont know all i really can say is thats its some sort of relief. It sounds like i am being mean and perhaps a little overly dramatic, but it really has been that bad.

Imagine.... the sun is out, the day is a glorious golden expanse of joy. Birds are twittering and cavorting across the open fields. The smell of flowers and pine trees greets your nostrils and before your eyes there lies a banquet fit for a king, a veritable plethora of food. Your girlfriend is lauging merrily and all is right with the world. Then like some mugger in the dark accosting you for $5, you suddenly hear some dim muttering(think Gollum). You turn around and to your dismay, ruining your view, is a gangly dork. Face screwed up in woe, and lips puckered up like a pouting anus.

It feels as if youve just stepped in dogshit. Sulking, whiny, male ball bagless whingeing. Its enough to ruin anyones day. So... what do you do?

A: Pay attention to the prat and pander to his tantrum chucking, whatever it may be for

B: Ignore it and hope that if you try not to think about it it will go away (like bad gas)

C: Pull out that baseball bat youve been saving for just this occasion, and whack the bugger round the scone, hoping that whatever malaise he is afflicted with is not infectious

D: All of the above

I went for B, though i have very strong feelings for C if there is going to be a next time.

All Fjorded OUT

incarna — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 15:40:00 GMT

Well it's been a long time since an update, and i really wish i could connect my camera and upload some, photo's but unfortunately thats a nogo. I have some absolutely great photo's to show you ppl, and i'd say i won't be able to up em until Poland, but thats only about 10 days away.

So where to start? Norway is beautiful, but i have to say downright expensive, if you are not careful a hamburger and chips (that are crap), will cost you to the tune of $20 AUD!!!! Insane prices. Transport in this country though is the big killer, costing an arm and a leg everytime you want to move.... and so we have been into the arctic circle and back already, thats over half of Norway, so you can imagine the expenditure, my arse feels like it's bleeding money.

Anyway on the upside i can say, the smoked salmon here is the best i have ever eaten and is cheap...hahahaha.

It's been a trying couple of weeks, as we met Eve's friend in Bodo on our way to Lofoten Islands. What can i say? He is a condescending little shit that needs a good smack upside the head. His incessant talking has made silence a scarce thing, and if i have to hear a shitty little lecture about something to do with Germany again, i'll grab him by his weinerwurst and throw him over a damn fjord. Anyway it looks like we part ways tommorow, but it all seems a little late, as Eve and i have had no space. Things have been great aside from that though.

Can't wait to get to Poland though for some sausage and dumplings (hahahaha that sounds so rude).

Anyway will write again soon aas possible, goodluck to everyone. Hello Gav, Liz, Mum, Juanita, Tristan.

P.S. Don't worry mum you can be pretty assured i'll definately be coming back to Australia, i'm already getting tired hahahah. Dumb Norwegians.

Norway Noway!

incarna — Wed, 6 Jun 2007 16:42:00 GMT

Hi Gav, mum everyone that can see this. The trip to Frankfurt was uneventful aside from the fact that Lufthansa Airlines suck dogs balls and i am never going to fly with them again if i have a choice (no TV on a 12hr flight, thats insane).

Anyway Frankfurt was pretty crap to be honest, right outside the train station is the seddy redlight distist full of heaps of arabs, i was surprised. The old city was nice but small, and all up i was largely unimpressed with Frankfurt. I almost had a heart attack when i saw the price of a coke in germany, it was 2.5 euro which works out pretty close 5 dollars.......meh.

Anyway if that was freaky enough i am now in Oslo and street prices are freaky, thank god for supermarkets. Oslo is beautiful and my first impression of Norway is that i am going to have an awesome if expensive time.( A lot of blonde people here) in fact i don't think i have seen so many white people gathered in one place in my life. We are currently camping in a beautiful place looking out over the city of Oslo, and it like like something out of a Swiss chocolate add. The weather is unforgiving though, so damn hot!!!!!!! I feel like i am melting.

Stop... Its Camera Time

incarna — Sat, 2 Jun 2007 01:35:00 GMT

Yesterday was a long day of trudging around. Eve has been having a giant dilemma over what camera she was going to buy. The amount of times of been in Yodabashi in Akihabara has been weghing on me and i never thought i would say this but i am sick of looking at gadgets. Finally Eve bought the camera she wanted, and it is pretty swish, but i'm really just glad that she bought something, as it has been sucking up so much of our time. Thank god i don't have to go to Yodabashi again today. We went to Ikebukuro again yesterday and it was packed full of teenagers and buskers everywhere, same with Shibuya at night, we must have been walking around for at least 8 hrs straight, and on top of that i have got the begginings of a flu creeping up on me.

Last night we had a bunch of chinese people sleeping in the room next to us, and dear lord they were loud, i contented myself with visions of going into their room and breaking their legs and teeth, it was the only way i could deal with it at 1 in the morning, because if i had gotten up things could have gotten messy. hahahahaha.

Anyway more Tokyo madness today, washing clothes packing bags and generally saying goodbye to Tokyo as we fly out to Frankfurt tommorow morning at 0955, i hope we have quite people next to us tonight as i really need sleep.

Back from Nikko

incarna — Thu, 31 May 2007 12:52:00 GMT

Finally back from Nikko. Was pretty much as expected, Japanes scenery that you would usually see in postcards, the type of place that you wouldn't believe exists. We spent 2 days there and it was pretty awesome but tiring.

On Tuesday we went to Shibuya, and oh my god Gav you should have seen the guitars in the music store there, they would make you cry, they are impossible to get in Australia and way way cheaper than anything we have there that comes remotely close. I saw an Ibanez electric that i am willing to fly here again to get, beautiful!!!! Anyway i am being hovered around so i'll update this better tommorow.

Dislocation

incarna — Mon, 28 May 2007 00:07:00 GMT

Well here's the first entry from overseas. Arrived at about 630am and wallowed around the airport for what seemed like an eternity. Tokyo hasn't changed since i left it last time lol, opnly this time i was coming in suffering from massive sleep deprivation, and feeling like someone had been playing soccer with my head.

Everything is just as cheap as i remember, i was beggining to think it was imagintation due to everyone, at home saying how expensive it was supposed to be. So for anyone in Australia who disbelieves me, can u pleas point out a place where u can get a good meal and soup for $4.50 in Sydney. If there is a place i would be pretty shocked.

Before i forget i should say hello to everyone,HI!!!

Yesterday was pretty much a loss as i was to tired to enjoy anything, today on the otherhand will be much better, Eve and i are just about to head off to Akihabara, i think she is going to get a new camera, she has that money spending gleam in her eyes. Asakusa is a pretty cool relaxed area, pretty much what i was expecting it to be from the start.

Anyway, i'm off i will do a proper update mebbe tonight.