Postcards from... somewhere...

Postcard from Oz...

emily_abroad — Mon, 3 Aug 2009 12:30:00 GMT

Once upon a time there was a girl. She was a mixed up, confused and confuddled little girl, quite a stubborn, independant thing, with a fierce survival instinct and a will to succeed, whatever the odds. (Sometimes she thought, she was just like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead; when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad, she was horrid. Except her curl was to the left of her forehead). :)

Anyhow, this girl had been through a rather torrid couple of years. Basically, it hadn't been good. And her survival instinct had come under threat. She had started to doubt herself, and the world around her. She didn't relate to it anymore and often she wondered why she was trying so hard to survive, the world didn't deserve the effort. But survive she did.

And then the straw that broke the camel's back, as it were. And she decided to run. Because there had to be some place in the world, where she could fit in, could get back in touch with herself and with life itself.

And like the tornado that swept Dorothy away to Oz, our heroine packed all her wordly goods away into storage, booked her ticket and flew to a land far far away. Her yellow brick road took her first to Bangkok, the wicked witch of the East, and onto Koh Phangan, Ananda and Detox, where the wise wizard foretold that all wicked influences could be 'let go' with the help of just a straw (or in our heroine's case, a magic rubber tube).

In her quest to find herself, our heroine realised that she had a brain, a heart and shed-loads of courage all along. She didn't need to find the Emerald City to get the answers, they were always there inside her.

And so, after her mini-adventure, she put on her magic slippers (supplied by the luxurious hotel suite), clicked her heels together three times, and uttered the magic words 'there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...' And of course, because this isn't MGM technicolour, she had to wait until next day to take the Jet Airways flight via Mumbai but give it 24 hours or so, and she would be home.

Or rather, Vanessa's home. Our heroine still needs to get one of her own, and a job to pay for it. But with renewed heart, brain and courage, there ain't no stopping her now!

Thank you for reading. Here endeth the blog. :) I'll be seeing you all very soon, a little earlier than planned. But, to (badly) paraphrase Harry from the end of when Harry met Sally; when you realise what you want in the future, you run to make sure your future can start as soon as possible.

Postcard from Chiang Mai...

emily_abroad — Mon, 3 Aug 2009 12:00:00 GMT

Actually, as so often happens with real postcards, this one isn't being written from Chiang Mai, but instead from a rather luxurious suite on the 52nd floor of a hotel in Bangkok. Yes, I seem to be back in Bangkok but this time only a pit-stop. And, a luxurious, pampered one at that. But that's for a different postcard. This one's about Chiang Mai.

So, I arrived in Chiang Mai on Wednesday evening. Took a taxi direct to the hotel I had been recommended and thankfully they had room. Oh, it seemed so lovely in comparison to Ananda! A huge bed, an actual duvet (oh, to not have just a simple sheet, it was sooo amazing!), air conditioning, TV, lovely oak wood furniture. The hotel, Awana House, was very sweet, everything seemed good.

Thursday, I decided to explore. I walked around a bit, batting off the tut tut drivers and those who wanted to know where I was from, and stumbled across a Wat or two to wander around. After a while, it got boring though, and the heat was intense. So, I took a tut tut to the local market, recommended by the hotel. The tut tut experience was far more positive than Bangkok, less fumes in your face, nicer scenery. But the market?! Not full of lovely Thai artetacts as I had hoped, but instead, cheap clothes, flowers, and the scent of meat and fish left out in the sun too long... Not what I wanted. So, another tut tut. This time to the mall. I don't know, once a mall rat, always a mall rat?! I felt far more at home, air conditioning, name brands, and ummm, a cinema! The afternoon was spent pleasurably watching Public Enemies and admiring the wonderful Johnny Depp! :)

But it kind of confirmed what I had been thinking... I am not cut out for this travelling lark. I am a tourist, not a traveller. I like my comforts and I don't like to rough it. And, left to my own devices, I will prefer to spend time in a place that reminds me of home (e.g. the mall) rather than tenaciously exploring the local vicinity...

So, that evening, plans were made...

Friday I took it easy. And I'm glad I did, as mid-morning a knock at my door brought Karen (from detox) into my holiday. It was nice to spend some time with someone else, not be by myself all the time. Friday night we went to the night market together; I probably went a little overboard, but was quite restrained by my normal standards!!!

Saturday was thai cooking class. Excellent! Since I came here (and have been able to eat!) I've fallen in love with Phad Thai, and now I know how to cook it!! It takes 5 mins and is my new comfort food, containing rice noodles, no wheat! And tofu, and bean sprouts and veggies, and very healthy! I can also cook a 3 course meal of spring rolls, green curry and sticky coconut rice with mango. I think my guests will be very impressed... That is, when I have a kitchen of my own to cook in!

Sunday was elephants. Or, it was supposed to be elephants all day, and instead was elephants for half a day. I don't know exactly what it was, but somehow I didn't want to be there. So, I came back. The problem started on the way to see the elephants. We were walking through the rice paddy fields, and the path was very narrow, sometimes helped out by some bamboo (which made your ankles twist), or a plank of wood. It was when we came to a thin plank of wood that looked very fragile, taking us across a large dip with a foot or so of water beneath. I stepped on. And then I couldn't step forward. And I couldn't move back. This has never happened to me before, but I am evidently turning into my mother (Mum, I love you!) and developing vertigo of some sort. Starting to panic, I didn't know what to do. I simply couldn't move. Eventually, of course, help arrived and I negotiated the 'bridge' and the rest of the 'trek' to the elephants...

But my state of mind had become undone.. and the first thing I see in an undone state of mind... the elephants were chained around one leg. And only one of them had both tusks intact. I found it very distressing. The elephants only remained chained whilst we were 'feeding' them with bananas and sugar cane, and it was explained to me that before the elephants had come here they had been mistreated and the ivory stolen, or the elephants themselves had lost their tusks in an accident. But, to me, I just felt badly. Whilst we, as tourists, were providing the money to care for these elephants, and apparently 70% of what we paid went directly to the elephants, I couldn't get it out of my mind that the elephants were akin to circus animals, here to entertain the tourists. And it didn't seem right. It was more right than previously when the elephants in Thailand were made to be work horses or mules, carrying the stones that made the temples that adorn the country everywhere (even Buddhism has its ugly side!) but it still didn't seem right. The elephants should be able to roam free.

So, with this in my head, playing my role of happy tourist wasn't going to happen! I had thought the day was more about feeding/bathing and caring for the elephants but it appeared it was more about riding them... And to get on, you had to grab hold of the poor thing's ear. And once on, take a long stick with a hook at the end, and jab the thing at the top of its ear and in its head. No, this wasn't going to happen! I did get on. But after that, I was determined not to get on again, not to ride, and to go home. So I did.

Sunday night was another night market - but far better than the bigger nightly one, this one was once a week (on a Sunday strangely enough!) and lots of more wide-ranging, better quality fare for sale. And for dinner, we went to one of the more expensive resorts for a civilised dinner. It was delicious, not too expensive, and quite strange to eat without the sound of traffic in the background!

Today, I came to Bangkok.

I liked Chiang Mai. It's a nicer city than Bangkok, more manageable, cleaner. But I doubt I'll be back.

Postcard from Detox....

emily_abroad — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:00:00 GMT

Wow! It has been an incredibly turbulent week and a bit... Ups, downs, in’s, out’s... It’s been emotional baby!

The detox itself – I lost 6.6kgs!!!!!!!! In ordinary English that’s a stone! Not that you’d really notice much, there is still soooo much more to lose!! But its a start, and I’ve lost inches around my tummy, hips, thighs and everywhere else that I took measurements. I definitely feel less swollen!

The not eating – that was relatively easy. There was only one day when I felt weak and I was in a ‘downward dog’ position doing the sun salutations at yoga at the time... I would feel a little hungry at night but nothing that couldn’t be ignored... The shakes were yuk but they kept you full even though they had no nutrition in them (just psyillium husk and bentonite which in plain language is fibre and a clay to pull out toxins). The nutrition came from the herbal pills. Treats during the day were carrot juice for lunch, coconut water for tea, and plain broth for dinner!!! And of course, the daily Thai massage and sauna. And as we were allowed ginger tea, it became a ginger cookie for a real treat!

No, what was hard, yet vitally important, and immensely, hugely fabulous, was the emotional detox which accompanied the physical. I can breathe. I feel happy. There is no undercurrent of fear, sadness, panic, self-pity. I simply feel happy. I can’t remember when I last felt this way. This is huge. The detox has achieved what months of therapy have totally failed to do. Clear my head.

(For those of you reading the ‘other site’ you can read my blog on the trials and tribulations of day one. It got better.)

All the uncertainty about what I was going to go – still there, but less so. I am definitely coming home. To stay. I’m a Londoner and I love my city and I want to live in my city, not travel aimlessly around. I’ll get myself a small flat, live more simply, and look for work. (Liz, if you’re reading this, I will come knocking for a long talk soon after I’m back!)

I’ve made some good friends here, we bonded over the shakes and what I will simply call the ‘straw action’... I hope we stay in touch.

Mostly we’ve been prisoners in the compound, tied to a timetable which involved doing something every 1.5hours. I started on some yoga and the stretching is good. I’ll try to keep it up when I’m back. Well, I do have a wii....! Sunday, four of us escaped to Thong Sala for some retail therapy which was a nice break, and today, Christa and I took the opportunity of our last day to go snorkelling. The drive through the island, into the hills and the jungle of palm trees was beautiful, breath-taking. After some fussing with the snorkelling equipment and the fact that I’m really not at all comfortable in water, I got used to it, and it was immense fun. And then into Thong Sala again for FOOD!!!!! I am having strange guilt pangs over going off-piste from the daily menu and have a barbecued corn on the cob. But it was sooooo delicious! And it had SALT on it!!! Soooo good to taste again! But I did walk on by the barbecued chicken, as I shouldn’t eat meat for another two days. (We have to build up our digestion again slowly). I also had a delicious fruit shake which had something called dragon fruit in it, a strange white flesh with black specks.

Tonight is a last dinner. The first dinner we can eat together. Vegetable soup. But it’ll be extremely good, the food here is all so good. And its simply just so good to be able to eat again!

Boat back to Koh Samui in the morning. Flight to Chiang Mai and I arrive in the evening. Haven’t booked my hotel, but am hoping the one that’s been recommended to me has space and will just see when I get there.

Thank you all for reading, your comments are lovely to read, reminding me that my friends are out there. I miss you all, and I’ll be back very soon. To stay.

Postcard from Koh Phangan...

emily_abroad — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 11:15:00 GMT

Well, Koh Phangan is MUCH more like it... Beautiful beaches, scenic postcard views everywhere. And its hot! Well, it keeps raining torrentially, but not today. And of course, mosquito spray doesn't work, using the plug-in mosquito repellent in the room doesn't work, and the mosquito repellent wrist bands - they mean that you actually get bitten around your wrists and ankles! But, all that aside, it's beautiful and I am starting to unwind. Slowly.

I had to move today though - one more night without air conditioning was not going to cut it for this girl! That and the fact there were snakes and lizards in the other rooms! Not sure I'm cut out for the 'roughing it' kind of travel. I always have appreciated the finer thigns in life, and I don't think that's going to change overnight. Especially when a little bit of comfort costs just an extra £100 for 10 nights... I mean, that's a good meal, a bottle of chablis and a taxi home in London... :)

Its been a bit dull the last couple of days, not a lot to do, and whilst doing nothing is usually my forte, that usually also includes loads of TV... But the next 7 days look like they'll be quite packed. 7.30am drink a shake, 9am take some pills, 9.15am, you don't want to know, 10.30am drink another shake, noon, more pills, 12.15pm have a massage (yay!), 1.30pm another shake, 3pm pills, and sauna, 4pm yoga, 4.30pm nip out of yoga for another shake, 6pm herbs, 6.15pm, again you don't want to know, 7.30pm another shake, 9pm mnore pills.... It's like some kind of military operation!

I'm in two minds about the detox. It really needs to be done, I've felt so sluggish and tired and almost ill for so long, my body needs a break. Just from a practical perspective, the detox will be great to break the carb addiction, lose a few much needed pounds, and kick start healthier living. I want my body back. The one I worked so hard to get a couple of years ago, and I liked it when I had it.

The thing is, the detox is also an emotional cleanse as well. And as the fatter body is inextricably linked (in my head at least) to the emotional crap, the next few days could be ugly. I'm already feeling lonesome, home sick and vulnerable, detoxing is only going to exacerbate those feelings. A really really special person says its very important to 'poo out' all the crap inside... LOL! That is exactly what I'll be doing, both figuratively, and ummm, literally.... So, after the 7 days, hopefully I will feel healthier, lost a few pounds and purged some of the crap inside...

Postcard from Bangkok...

emily_abroad — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 07:30:00 GMT

FFS I have been writing this one for ages. And the internet ether has stolen it! Which, just goes to show, what kind of crap Bangkok is!

The story went something like this...

This one could have been called 'kidnapped in Bangkok' or 'I fricking hate Bangkok, get me out of here!'.

Yesterday I was too jet-lagged to do anything except sleep, but went for a mooch, pointed at a menu and said 'choose' and got pad thai which was nice. Later I had a lovely Italian meal, probably the best ever, but if an Italian meal is my highlight, why am I not in Italy?

Today, I got up to do the tourist thing. Early. Discovered I had been bitten twice. Well, on my calf and on my elbow, but more accurately at least 10 times in clusters. Mosquitoes and me are not a happy combination (well, they probably are!) The zappy thing is NOT working, nor is the cream. I had the Asian breakfast. Potato-y gloopy stuff. With ginger. NOT GOOD!

Got a taxi. Wanted to go to Wat Pho and the Grand Palace. That was the plan, I like plans. Allowed myself to get stiffed by the taxi by not insisting on the meter, but £6 seemed like a fair deal - would have been £20 in London. At least. We get to Wat Pho. But I'm not allowed in. A man in a uniform tells me the monks are praying and the Royal family is visiting. I know this is a scam. The guidebook says so. But he doesn't let me in, and he doesn't let me walk down the street to a different entrance. Instead he insists I get in a tut tut and the man will show me various other wats (temples) for 50baht. So, I reckon OK, I should do the tut tut thing and that's a deal (£1).

And then the worst 2 hours begins. Driving in a tut tut is NOT fun. Hot wind in your face. The smell of the fumes in your mouth. We did first go to a wat where another man told me I had a lot in common with the Buddha. We're both fat. Lovely. Just what I needed to hear when panic was rising up inside me. Roll on detox. And then the tut tut man wanted to take me shopping. When I walked in and promptly walked out of a tailor's he was visibly not happy. (I could have been measured for a cashmere suit for £40 but what would I want with one of those?!). It seems that he gets petrol coupons from the stores if I stay a while.. So, I played along for him at two more stores. Just seemed easier, I was his prisoner. At one, I must admit, I bought a couple of cheap rings but I am a shopaholic at heart. I firmly insisted after that that he return me to the Grand Palace which he did in a sulk.

So, actually, he got me back to Wat Pho. Which is beautiful, lovely, amazing colourful architecture. Lost on me in my mood. It felt like a sauna outside, I was tired, thirsty and hungry. And I'd left my camera at the hotel. I made my way to the massage place, it's supposed to be the best place to get the traditional Thai massage, and that 1hour respite was nice if painful. I am now truly ironed out. And bruised. Again. But after, I just wanted to go home. I ate at a street stall (so might die of food poisoning, but it tasted good) and then got a taxi home. On the meter.

Bangkok might have some amazing sights. But I won't be seeing them. I've had enough of the place. I think when I return for my flight home, I shall time it so I just connect at the airport. Tonight I will go back to the Italian restaurant - the aubergine mozarella bake was to die for.

Early flight tomorrow. The beach beckons.

Bangkok, RIP.

Postcard from KL...

emily_abroad — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 13:35:00 GMT

I was going to call this one 'bruised in KL' but thought that might make some readers smirk and others worry... But I can report I've just had the MOST wonderful massage at KL airport. Well, a girl's got to keep herself amused somehow when there are 5 hours to kill, hasn't she?!

The flight to KL passed without incident. The car got me to the airport. I explained to the nice man that the car just has a mind of its own sometimes, not to panic and to jiggle it around until it behaves sometimes... Set my watch to Thai time as soon as I got on the plane. Dinner was therefore at 9pm and bedtime after watching 'He's just not that into you' (great wallpaper btw) was at 10pm with a sleeping pill. Should have taken 2 as it only gave me about 4hours sleep but I did snooze after that, and also watched Duplicity. Which did not have enough of Clive Owen without his top off. Or not at all even. But still, nice to look at.

I can also report that, despite being assured by a certain someone that the hostesses on the flight would be drop-dead gorgeous, they were not. Alright, they were beauties in comparison to BA, but I think I'd have to travel Singapore Airlines to get the real deal! ;)

Since my luggage is probably already in Bangkok and I didn't have to pick it up here, or go through customs, or anything, I really should have got the connecting flight that didn't have the five hour wait... There's not a lot of shopping here - unless you've the budget for Lacoste, Coach and Mont Blanc... The massage and foot reflexology was a lovely waste of time though and I do feel refreshed. It might have hurt like hell, but nothing that feels good in life comes easy...

Boarding for Bangkok soon... Can't wait for that hotel bed, take it easy today, tourism will start in earnest tomorrow...

Love to all, miss you already

xxx

Minus 3 days...

emily_abroad — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 00:30:00 GMT

Minus 3 days to my flight to Thailand... My life is packed into a 75 square foot storage locker in Hammersmith (and it is FULL!) and a 70 litre backpack (which isn’t absolutely full and weighs 17.2kg – feels like 117 though!)... Limbo right now. Sitting at Tinto’s coffee on the Fulham Palace Road, feeling a bit chilly as it’s not quite warm enough anymore to be wearing no jacket... Waiting. Waiting to hear what is happening to the latest in the car saga, waiting to get the car back so I can drive to the events I have planned for the weekend. Waiting to hear from my IFA re. my new life policies. Waiting for my flat to be professionally cleaned. There is nothing else to do, no place else to go. (Well, I could go back to Van’s flat but not until the waiting is sorted out...) Limbo. I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know why I’m going, but I don’t have a reason to stay. From a practical perspective it’s a no-brainer. Much cheaper and more sensible to travel in cheap countries, gaining new experiences and memories than to pay exorbitant rents in London whilst not working. And I always wanted to travel, I was going to do it after uni and took the job at NatWest because it paid more than McDonalds. But then I got caught up in career, love and marriage. So, now seems like a good time to do it, no ties, got some cash. Am I running away? The career has dried up, I’ve had enough of what I was doing and I don’t know what I want to do next. Life seems mundane, pointless, futile. You wake up, you struggle through the day, sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry, but everything stays the same. So, a change is good. One of my favourite songs, Bittersweet Symphony says it best. So, take a break, recharge the batteries, get a different perspective. Seems like a plan. Am I running towards something? Will I find my destiny? I don’t know. Does it matter? Time will tell...