As a backpacker, I love nothing more
than to travel to different countries, meet different people, learn different
languages, eat different foods, play different sports, and listen to different music.
But for some strange reason, the one thing that seems to fascinate me most is
the different ‘toilet experiences’ I inevitably come across in my travels.
Here is a list of my top 10 most
disturbing, challenging, hilarious, weird and overall memorable toilet
experiences I have encountered on my travels.
1. Paying
to use public toilets
Places Experienced: South America, Europe
The concept of paying an old lady
sitting outside a public toilet just to do my business is weird to me. You pay
to get in and are allocated a predefined amount of toilet paper (never more
than 4 squares). Call me a princess, but I’m accustomed to deciding how much
toilet paper I require on an ad-hoc, case-by-case basis.
Having the correct change on you is
also vital…yet according to Murphy’s Law it is highly unlikely. Then, the old
lady usually hands you a receipt. I can’t possibly think of a situation where I
will need substantial evidence or an audit trail proving that I went to the
toilet. Oh well, in case of an emergency it can act as a makeshift fifth piece
of toilet paper!
Note: You would expect that a public
toilet that necessitates a monetary transaction would be for the express
purpose of facilitating its upkeep and cleanliness. In my experience… think
again!
2. Squat
Toilets
Places Experienced: Asia
Despite this
being quite a challenge, and a better workout then doing a squat class at the
gym, I really found squat toilets to be not too bad at all.
Positives:
- There
is no skin-to-seat contact! Let’s face it, if I ever have to do my business in
an unhygienic, bacteria filled cesspool of a toilet, I am likely to squat above
the bowl anyway. This just eradicates the obsolete, pointless and in-the-way
toilet bowl from the whole process.
- There
is no water, which means no splash back.
- No
need to tuck in your bits and pieces so as to avoid mistakenly touching the
edge of potentially disease infested toilet seats.
Negatives:
- The
smell - Oh the smell!
- It’s
a balancing act…and one small slip up can be an absolute catastrophe.
- Usually
its BYO (bring your own) toilet paper, which is never cool(and the process
of wiping is never as leisurely when you are not in a sitting position).
3. Music Festival Portable Toilets
Places Experienced: Australia, North America, South
America
I am in my absolute element at a
festival, except for one annoying factor - the portable toilets; You have to be a bloody contortionist to
succeed!
Festival portable toilets are like communism – in theory, if
everyone worked together, there would be a more beneficial outcome for the
greater good. But, this would only require people to go to the toilet like civil
human beings, not angst-filled, drunk, partying youths. Waiting in a line to get
into a club sucks, but waiting in line while missing your favourite bands just
to use a toilet that 1500 people have soiled before you… that is a nightmare!
Note: Never put your backpack down on the floor. You can pretend
the 2-inch deep wetness on the floor is ‘just water’ all you like, but you are
going to be wearing that backpack on your back for the rest of the day. Think about it.
4. Toilets without a ‘2-seat” System
Places
experienced: South America
(especially Bolivia), Central America
Bolivia and my
stomach were not the best of mates. So I have some very vivid memories of my time
in the loo. Bolivians do not believe in the traditional 2-seat system. I am
naturally accustomed to
having a toilet that is suitable for dual purposes. More than
likely (due to the state of some toilets), I wouldn’t actually be making
contact with the second seat anyway. However I figure this is kind of like
having travel insurance – even though you
may not end up claiming it, it’s really important to have it in place!
5. Toilets on Traveling Vehicles
Places
experienced: Airplanes, Buses,
Trains.
Regarding toilets
on moving vehicles, I would suggest always maintaining a healthy level of
caution that the person before you has ‘missed.’ Even the most skilled marksman
cannot handle a severe bus swerve or extreme turbulence - so take caution.
While we’re still on
the topic of Bolivia, make a point of never taking a long bus journey while
suffering from a severe case of gastro. I embarked on what was supposed to be a
13 hour trip (but turned into a 21 hour trip because it got held up by a
road block due to a local protest), on a bus without any toilets. I seriously
thought was going to die from internal combustion.
6. Local Peruvian practices
Place Experienced: Peru
Whilst walking in
the streets of Puno, on the bank of Lake Titicaca I past a traditionally
dressed Peruvian woman sitting against the wall. I suddenly noticed that she
was not quite sitting flat and she had elevated herself ever so slightly. What
I saw next was that a small stream was coming from where she was (half)
sitting. I found this to be uniquely strange and at first wrote this off as a
hilarious one off circumstance, but I soon found out this was quite common
practice of the culture.
7. No flushing toilet
paper - Please put it in the bins provided
Places
experienced: Central America,
South America, Asia
Some places,
particularly developing countries, simply do not have the sewage infrastructure
to handle flushing toilet paper. However, when sharing a bathroom with a
significant other, it can at times be a little off-putting. My tip is to always
save a couple of squares of toilet paper, to make a cover on top of the used
ones you have just disposed.
8. Camping
Places
Experienced: Central America,
South America, Asia
On these trips
toilet paper is gold! Make sure you take enough supply for the entire duration
of your trek - you do not want to be caught a day short. Of course, you could
always become a “MacGyver” camper who is not afraid to use stones, leaves, a
running stream or The good ‘ol one square of toilet paper trick - but I'll leave that up to you.
Note: You need to
be well aware of your surroundings and the insects, arachnids, reptiles and
animals that may be looming around you while you have your pants around your
ankles and are in a compromising position.
9. Bidets
Place Experienced: Argentina
Just as I believe
that squatting over a hole or throwing my toilet paper in a bin instead of
flushing is quite primitive, the Argentines believe that the way Australians go
to the toilet is simply barbaric - that is, without using a “bidet.”
What is a bidet
you ask? Imagine a small basin,
something that looks suitable to bath a baby. Its primary purpose is to wash your nether regions with a
pressured stream of water. Perhaps the Argentines are correct, but I never got used to it.
10. The Mecca Of Toilet Experiences
Place: Japan
If you want the
ultimate toilet experience you need to go to Japan. I have only been to Tokyo-Narita Airport in Japan and had 15 hours to kill. I may be
exaggerating but I reckon I spent approximately 13 of those hours in the toilet!
Japanese toilets
have everything you could ever wish for - from seat warmers to bidets with all
sorts and pressures to female hygiene modules to buttons that create a flushing
noise for the express purpose of muffling any embarrassing noises that you my
cause. If the level of a society’s sophistication can be defined by the way
they go the toilet, then Japan is by far the most sophisticated country in the
world.
Who would have
thought that the toilet in Narita Airport on the way home from 6 months
backpacking trip would be one of the highlights of my journey?
Some serious considerations
- Be cautious as
some of these toilets can be disturbingly unhygienic, rife with bacteria, so be careful of what you touch.
- Be sure to always
wash your hands properly after using the toilet, and especially before eating. It is a
good idea to carry some hand sanitizer.
- Leave your
valuables with a friend if possible, or at least keep them close to you (if the
type of toilet permits).
- If suffering from gastro
flush it out of your system with as much water as possible.
- Never be too proud
or cheap to go to a doctor, you would rather be safe than sorry.
Behind the Backpack
Kevin Lippy and Dean Ginsberg are broke backpackers who decided to start a website called Brokepacker.com which is all about discovering the best ways for backpackers to maximize their experiences within the limits of their budgets! They live and travel by the principle that every single dollar saved is a dollar that can contribute to another experience, another adventure and ultimately another day.
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